Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Ways in Which I Am Like Women

You watered my plants, so I slept with you
You baked me bread, so I slept with you
You wrote a cock-eyed poem about me, so I blew you
You took me to the zoo, so I rimmed you too

You paid my electric bill, I slept with your friend
You bought me a kimono, I shaved my legs
You told me to fuck off, I stayed open all night
You killed my goldfish, I poached your eggs

You dressed like a girl, I dressed like a guy
You sent me vexed emails, I pretended to cry
You texted me from her bed, I said I was dead
You killed my poodle, we had a Roman funeral

You kissed my ass, I threw makeup at you
You wrote me a song, I danced on the moon
You killed my iguana, nothing was true
You turned forty, I fucking laughed at you

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