Monday, August 9, 2010

Poetry Grooming Kit

1. When I Open My Mouth, It's Like a Spiderweb.

3. Grooming is a huge concept in the gay world. It's mostly all gay men do, really. There's "pedophile grooming," but I don't mean that nightmare. Prison grooming will turn a "nice boy" into your bitch.

Okay, maybe we went to the same "culinary institute."

3a. If it's a euphemism, do you still have to put a condom on it?

Someone ask the instructor.

He creeps me the fuck out.

4. I mean a twenty-six-year-old could groom a fifty-nine year old and it could still be pedophilia.

Poetry harbors tons of this sort of Retarded Speedboat Captain.

5. Di-ah-mond. Swiz-zy.

6. Maturity is considered an anachronism. Anchor round your foot. The Power Ranger serial killer out in California. A girl trapped inside the narrative's male body. Aphrodite interviewed him. Aphrodite scorned. But she couldn't get past his lips. Everything spun out from those lips. Spindrift over bodies he tied an anchor to. Before pushing them overboard.

7. "I've got a crush on sociopathy." Guys named Tyler.

8. The outlaw orgasm probably the Defining Moment. Neither Gary Cooper nor his son Rob Zombie are capable of giving me an erection. But I am a minority bitch.

9. Kenneth Goldsmith's FACEBOOK says he is a fan of THE SOCIETY FOR CREATIVE ANACHRONISM. Probably his membership is ironic. Iconic. Kenneth Goldsmith's FACEBOOK. Kenneth Goldsmith's FACEBOOK. Say it with me. Kenneth Goldsmith's FACEBOOK.

10. ____ __________ is dead. He begins taking a few steps away from irony. Will anything happen?

11. Chimps groom each other. Poets, critics. Critics, poets, less. Sometimes I just want a big cartoon gorilla to give me a spangly red heart with lace around the edge. So it looks like Dorothy's shoes and tranny underwear at once. Give me your small red (something) heart. I know it's just a party favor. It's okay.

12. "Neglects Grooming" is no doubt checked on some Clipboard of Earthly Meaning and Significance.

They've since Divorced.


As has the shrink. Because they fuck patients.

They're county shrinks. They're like cashiers at Wally World.

They worry about varicose veins and their personal attractiveness.


Something has to take the place of money.

13. Wouldn't you give a blowjob to temper a diagnosis?

14. A groom someone "who spends a lot of time studying horsecock."

16. Very furious fears Purists who attend to groom Darth. Purim and Cherubim.

17. "I use that Rossetti toothpaste."--Anonymous. 15th Century. Dauphin County Mental Health waiting room.

18. The cosmic Fireball of intromission.

I prefer the lesbian art gallery.

18a. Sapphics are shopping.

18a1. Desperate shopping is more fun.

19. Male. succinctly. sucks cock.

20. I heard you use that line before. Supercomputer disguised as a shopping cart.

The other way around more likely.

20a. Putting the cart before the whores.

Voila! The Anthology!

21. I admire the ones who carry the Combs into the Tombs. The most. You weird wolves.

22. It's worse to be Ungroomable than Unfuckable. Should I wear the glove?

23. O Apollo! O Bright Worm! Met!


You got anally "served."

24. Children come in a quite bewildering assortment of bodies. Long white hair. You have to believe in the god's typing...

25. I saw that. That minatory mincing thing. You do.

25a. A squirrel with dementia is a terrible thing to waste.

26. I liked Poetry Grooming 201 "in syllabus." But when they actually walked the horse into the class the first day...

27. Propinquity is probably the most damaging illusion in any art.


28. Causes follow effects in religion, horseshoes and poetry.

29. Most contemporary poetry has grown out of the Remote Viewing experiments the C.I.A. conducted during the Cold War.

30. I don't know all that much about Liguria. But I find it somewhat enticing.

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