NAME: Baked Potato.
SHAPE: Bulbous. Globous. Wen-like. Testicular.
FRIENDS: Gnomes. Potato Bugs (duh!). Earthworm. Corpses. Dead goldfish. Dead hamsters. Cooked dead cow pieces cut into artful shapes.
TURN ONS: Butter. Soil. Rootlets. Weird tiny hairs like nosehairs. Mushrooms. Troll features. A-1 Sauce. Rolling around. Sour Cream. Sack dresses. Oven. Spatulas. Microwave. Potassium. Hot rocks.
TURN OFFS: Yogurt. Yoghurt. Yohgurt. Go-gurt. Go-ghurt.
MILD MASOCHISTIC FANTASIES: Knife. Fork. Being eaten alive.
PAST RELATIONSHIP: Ex-wife: Yam. (Married 249 years, divorced 2010).
CURRENT RELATIONSHIP: Dating: Mayonnaise. One child: Potato Salad. (Rumored to have other sprouts).
MOVIES: Too numerous to mention. Frequently works as charactor actor.
AUDITIONED FOR: Veggie Tales. Entered rehab shortly after being rejected for part.
SURPRISING FACT: May contain parts of dead people. Lots of dead people.
RELIGION: Zoroastrianism, with New Age Earth Goddess elements.
BEAUTY TREATMENT: Vegetable scrub brush. Occasional skin peels.
MR. BLACKWELL'S LIST: Cited among "Ten Worst Dressed" for aluminum foil sheath worn to public function with Nicole Kidman in June, 2010.
IN THE NEWS FOR: Treated at Promises in February, 2009 for pepper addiction.
UPCOMING: Co-starring with Ham in a bubbly off-Broadway one act.
CELEBRITY FRIENDS: Martha Stewart, Rachel Ray, Paula Deen, Gordon Ramsay.
QUOTES: "I might be ugly but I taste much better than you do."
BOOKS: Autobiography: Essential Nutrients: Everything I Ever Needed I Absorbed from Dead Creatures.
CELEBRITY MOST OFTEN MISTAKEN FOR: Rush Limbaugh.
PARENTS: Mother: Cecilia Pomme de Terre: (Mashed, 2003). Father: Arthur Humus-Lively (Alive, Resides in Burbank).