there are other ways to spell gingko

schizophrenic indian summer got some clarity today. it decided, "i am going to destroy you all." it had vacillated for a few weeks. but it had its "elevator moment." i knew when i looked out the back door and saw the miniature gingko (he's only allowed to grow five feet tall, not one inch more, we have a signed contract) had gone yellow. the gingko leaves look better yellow. they make great bookmarks. you need two gingkos to make them breed. you have to have a marriage ceremony. and then they join pollen through insects. they're married. but mine is a bachelor. or bachelorette i think rather. autumn. yes. but. still. it's like when you realize your feet are tired of carrying you around the planet. cavemen were dead by now, your feet say. "are we lingering?" everyone is lingering. babies are lingering. this lovely book came. the limited edition double (flip) book of kendra grant malone backed with matthew savoca. thank you scrambler books for making this and for charging such a great price so people could afford it. only 75 of these beauties were made. i got number 14. which i'm happy with. the sonnet number. it's a good luck number for me. i always pick it in lotto. think of the sonnets when you play lotto. it should win a design award. "cover art and design by crystal quinn." crystal, you deserve an award. submit it to some of those many book shows in nyc they have every year. you will win something. if you don't know kendra grant malone's poetry, you should. finding her poetry was like finding eileen myles the first time. the "truth per ounce" thing is pretty stupefying in her poetry. i have at least a dozen favorite kgm poems in my head already. here's part of her funny dedication: "to all the lovers from this year and last, thank you for the material, you assholes." people kgm reminds me of: akhmatova (especially the poems about men), eileen myles, sappho, my mother on one of her funny jags. but she is her own creature and her poems are a memorable survival manual like the best poems always are really. matthew savoca is no slouch either. what i read of his book was seamless. it's almost like a little novel in poetry really. or is it ars poetica? he reminds me of Berrigan (pere) more than a little. and there are glints of joe brainard too, oddly enough. who i of course love. there are even illustrations passim, after the manner of some brainard books and collabs. this is a memorable double debut. i will try to talk more about these books later, in a more serious bookish mode. but these are two poets who are going to be all through your body and brain later. whoever you are. my hair is too long. but i don't want to touch it. i want a coffin of hair around me. i have some great ideas for photos i want to do right now. i want to use the buddha head from pier one. these are ideas for funny pics. but i need the house to myself. i want to do them alone. some of the things i want to do with buddha head will be embarrassing if someone watches me. but it wont be if they don't. this is the definition of therapy. someone watching you cures you. that's the simplest definition. and later you are supposed to watch yourself. do you watch yourself? everyone knows the most fun moments are when you don't watch yourself. but this is often dangerous, isn't it.