I think I'm in a bad period.
I'm having trouble with basic things like memory.
I have been in a fugue state several times recently.
I use the computer to try to reconstruct these missing periods.
Thought about committing myself but can't face that place again.
I'm going to sleep.
God bless medications and over the counter benadryl.
I see that Malkin has water and gets fed but can barely manage anything else.
How can one be on a downward spiral when one doesn't even do anything.
Agoraphobia worse. Disappointed people again yesterday when I couldn't bring myself to leave the house.
I did one "adventurous" thing past the door of my house.
I got the pepper and tomato fingerlings into the earth.
I was heartsick when the heat wave "killed" them last week.
But water therapy revived all but two of them.
And I realized "it's now or never." So I did get them planted.
But I had such panic just being in my own backyard.
I got so frustrated every time I heard a neighbor speaking somewhere.
Mental illness is no fun.
Without Ativan I would be in the e.r. every day or dead by now.