Non-Alcoholic Sonnet

A love poem is being considered
by a seagull and a drafty room

I have this funny groom
I collect ne'er-do-wells

the way others collect goldfish
or paint their walls with op art

I like miniature graveyards
and people who are miniature ponies

I'm honest about it up front
I am an emotional cunt

I am middle-aged but immature
But who's keeping score?

It is December 31st
And I have a vampire's thirst