Sunday, December 11, 2011

Things I Would Like to Do with You

I would like to experience sexual cosplay with you. I would be a gay rhino and you could be a bi hippo. I would like to run out in a blizzard holding hands with you while taking pictures of the blizzard and your frightened face because we might not make it back. The elderly look like teenagers if you put enough bright winter clothes on them. I would like to tell everyone that your real name on your birth certificate is “Laura Ingalls Wilder” and that you are a prostitute from the Midwest. I would like to swim with you into a grotto that was actually inside a K-mart that had the old ICEE stand with the Polar Bear on top that probably doesn’t exist anymore and when the FLASHING BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL came on I would like to race you to it and act like we were totally retarded and needed little boy’s underwear or whatever it was flashing on sale.. I would like to sit next to you in a museum cafe after looking at way too many mummies and steal your french fries and tease you about death. I would like to wear your underwear and make you take pictures of my ass in your underwear and put it on Flickr and say it was you so all your friends would think you had developed the strangest ass.

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