Tuesday, May 31, 2011

EPT 911

"My pregnancy test  says I'M A MAN?!?"





I Don't Speak German

This is so vapid.

But I like it.

"the uh uh uh oh uh" in the chorus is so boy band.

A Symptom Checker Said I Might Have Polar Bear Poisoning

I had a minor weirdness occur that lasted less than a day.

I think it was due actually to vitamin overdose.

I had gone a little crazy with vitamins and then I was taking this rather old (expiration date said it was good) GNC Liquid Vitamin B-12.

I stopped all these and it was over before that evening.

But when I used a symptom checker it suggested (among literally more than 900 other possibilities) polar bear poisoning.

It was wondering if possibly I had eaten too much of the liver and kidneys of the polar bear I had slain.

Just so you know, 200 mg of the same can be fatal.

So enjoy your polar bear pate SPARINGLY.

What is Joran Van der Sloot Wearing?

I actually feel half impelled to create a blog with the title What is Joran Van der Sloot Wearing?

He is always on the cutting edge of fashion.

Even when he is wearing South American prison uniforms.

Here is the latest photo of your and my favorite sociopath killer.

Now I am so jealous.

I soooo want the PNP Homicidios waistcoat "thingie."

But of course I don't want to be locked up in a South American prison to get it.

I'm sure that's a super-cool hoodie with which he's combined it, but the legal authorities have cruelly deprived us of the fashion details.

The combo does look every bit as good as say his usual ECKO wear (well...when ECKO was in...Joran would doubtless NOT wear that today).

Lest we think Joran "overdressed" for May, we must remember he is in another hemisphere which experiences the antipodal weather to our own.

He is probably dressed perfectly for the season there.

And then justice is as cold as murder, so it's probably good to have a hoodie if you're a serial killer.

The Poet

Words are the slums of feeling.

Pompous and poorly-dressed princes

roll through, ho'ing, dealing.



two more views of the steelton canal



like both versions of this


the paler one with the more pronounced nimbus is also pretty i think.


another of malkin


dru would hate me if he knew i was posting these pics admiringly.

another of the canal

it has fish and i see people fish it occasionally but you'd be nuts to eat the fish.

it's probably trying to clear over a century's pollution and it's probably only lain fallow three decades or so..if that...

the verdure is nice. and the birds, waterfowl or otherwise.


also like this one of Malkin


this one feels biblical to me

it reminds me of the old time biblical fans old ladies used to use here in pennsylvania and everywhere else.

i like to collect them when i find them in flea markets, etc.

it's a disused canal of the steel mill.


and i like this one of malkin

lolling right where baby sunflowers are growing. and lima beans.

he did turn up late morning. after driving me nuts with worry. he has a night life, i'm afraid.


ridiculously phantasmal

but i love the pearly unreal colors of the onion here.

this is weird.

in front of the empty house i photographed...there had been a basketball post and net (homemade).

i guess it got weathered but they had smashed it and left it in a pile (there is a photo of it on my Flickr).

and then someone put a large onion next to this wreckage.

it's a strange conjunction and i couldn't figure out what it meant.

it's not the sort of thing one walks around eating.


nature was already musical

and here i liked the noise the filters interjected.


Processing Photos from Shoot Yesterday

I was processing them with filters.

I'll post my favorites here.

I got a number of versions of the shot through the empty house...through one window and out another into verdure.

Most of the ones I liked ended up "illustrationy" (a Schuyler word).

Like this.

Some were vaguely Wyethy.


Monday, May 30, 2011

Adopt Me

"Hi. I'm a demon-cat conceived on a OUIJA board betwixt two witches' familiars. Oh. And I need a caring home."

Adult Swim


civil war reenactments


I meant to watch GETTYSBURG, which the one channel is running today.

I watched tons of Civil War docus yesterday.

Absolutely and utterly fascinating.

My Creative Idea Today

How often have you been seated at your computer and you wanted to check something in a mirror?

I think it would be a capital idea to develop a MIRROR page where your screen could instantly be turned into a mirror so you wouldn't need to get up to check something.

Considering the weird optics of a SITE that could do this (the idea that it would be like a two way glass isn't necessarily correct) the more likely solution would just be to have a screen which could function this way when you clicked a button switching modality.

I would like such a monitor.

Happy Elmorial Day


Sunday, May 29, 2011

Philip Larkin

My Favorite

photo of Malkin from today.

On my front porch.

Where is he now?

I put out his favorite wet food and it's sat there for hours.

I'm worried.



empty house right down the road.

it's pretty.


doesn't it look like a dollhouse?




water is never upside down.



steelton, tonight


bird cock-eyeing me

this was one of two mated birds which kept "misleading" me to get me away from their nest in the selvage....

it was sort of funny...

i guess they realized after a while i wasn't gonna put on hip waders and get anywhere near the nest....


i've been

sort of severely depressed.

maybe it's post-traumatic shock with the thyroid cancer scare and things still being left up in the air somewhat.

go through sleeping jags, crying jags, worrying about my stray kitteh.

tonight I forced myself out of the house to take some photos.

i wasn't feeling ambitious. just wanted some photos of Malkin (what I call my gray stray...who has now worryingly vanished at hours when he's usually here) and then went down to the south part of steelton and took some pics of parts of the mill fallen in desuetude which are still lively with water plants and birds...i was menaced by waterfowl lol.

I'll post a few of my favorite pics from tonight.



It's the celebration of my natal day and I shall wax lachyrmose if I desire it.... wax lachrymose if I desire it....

Monsieur Ducreux Meme's fave thing to do is reinterpret our pop lyrics.


The babysitter speaks very poor LOLspeak but gives GREAT backrubs!!

suicideinItaly araki style

suicideinItaly araki style by Bieco Blù
suicideinItaly araki style, a photo by Bieco Blù on Flickr.


"Use the SEAL-SOUNDER the guide sold us. That should draw them. That thing cost 25 bucks. It's gotta work!"

Friday, May 27, 2011

Travel Plans


drole de menage




The Middle Ages

I was looking forward to a wild thunderstorm yesterday evening, but I hadn't anticipated it was going to cast me back into the Middle Ages.

We lost power for over five hours.

I got my stray cat in before the storm hit, so he was grateful as it was a lightning storm and included hail.

The peonies looked like Blanche DuBois after a night with sailors.

But the worst part was it got real hot after (doesn't it always) and then I was alone in the house pacing because apparently I am a total e-junkie and I was nervous that my alarm system was down, my phones were down, even my emergency 911 cell phone I had had lost its charge in the past few days so I was literally off the grid.

Plus I was jonesing for LOLcats lol!

It made me so crazy around midnight I walked the entire length of Steelton in a loop (yes, I had a weapon in my pocket just in case but no problems) and did make contact with some emergency workers who said Steelton would not be high priority with PPL and said 3:30 a.m. at the earliest and possibly late into the morning.

This freaked me out so I went to a nearby motel because the bipolar thing was not playing well with all this darkness and pacing.

I suppose a more normal person would have ridden it out.

But I didn't feel like reading. I had already done the bath thing. And by the time I did my "city walk" I was lathered up in sweat and needed another shower.

I HATE blackouts. Where we used to live we would have them constantly for some obscure reason and I associate it with that.

So once I got to the motel I could at least call people like my Mom and tell them what was going on, and monitor the progress.

I called someone and got the okay when the power came back on a few hours ahead of schedule so I was able to sleep in my own bed at least.

There must have been massive areas blacked out. Because earlier in the evening I took a drive and ALL of steelton was blacked out. Every store was closed.

I had no idea but later learned even Walmart had closed all night and they are eight miles or so the other direction, nowhere near Steelton.

We didn't have much wind damage here at all. I only saw one large downed branch but my car did get rerouted around Sycamore street (the feeder street for the DMV, which is lined with hundred year old sycamores for a few miles).

When I rerouted, I ended up on another part of Sycamore and yes there were some predictable branches from those old monsters.

But they each have thousands of branches and the things are ancient. If I lived on that street I don't think I would park "on street."

It's not like I'm in in iron lung or had kids who had to get their homework done or worried about medications keeping cold, etc.

But it still messed with my head. I couldn't deal with the pacing around I found myself doing.

The funny thing is if I had had a computer I would probably have been fine.

I remember thinking this is so "computer addiction 101" lol.

I hated wasting money on a motel (did get AAA discount) but I was going a little batty and I cranked the air down to like 60 degrees.

Thursday, May 26, 2011


i can't even sign in rite nao cuz iz on ma slaw puter

but i gotz notifikashuns of fps

so thankers mucho ma website lubber

xo xo

no cancerous cells

and now front pages

and it's gonna storm

so life is gud



Just for fun
in the middle of the night
I asked if you would be my boyfriend

because you're 22
and six feet eight

because I'm weird
and take stray cats to bed

and you got so nervous
and uncertain
you called me back 4 times

and i laughed each time
i hung the phone up

i look like Lily Munster
and Bob from Twin Peaks

and i forgot to add
in my romantic resume

my Favorite Thing to Do

is Drive the Ice Cream Truck of Tragedy

and ding the bell

over and over


Peonies are stupid flowers
They explode gorgeous pink Moulin Rouge vaginas
But one good storm
bends their flamingo necks
They are broken little girls
after the first fuck by a user

a totally hot cloud-wastrel

leaves them blubbering dirt

Wokend Up

Body wake up not before afternoon
Ambien Make me float a float now
a nightmarish parade float
like Baby Jane or Perry in Jayne
pretend hot Cocteau poets Orphee
Naked ghost I float
up and down many stairs
my house is dark daytimes
Steelton didn't believe in windows
in 1910 this was all new
I talk to the fridge
who is Mina Loy
She pours ice water and grieves
her runaway lover
Ice dispenser grief
I pretend to empathize
But tell her she dresses
like Lily Munster I like it
Hair, blind me to my reflection
As I pass mirrors
I begin to sing creepily
it sounds like a theme
to Taiwan porn from 1979
a very old half-melted VHS tape
this is my voice
Ice Water hurry replace my cells
I say apotropaic prayers
Mailbox Do Not Hold Evil
I pose like Bob in Twin Peaks
hide in a corner to scare the cat
Snake Telephone do not bite me
with human messages
Every room has winged messengers
they worry about their carpal tunnel syndromes
These are books
Tiresome workaday angels
I no longer read angels
Anything but thoughts
Floating free on God's
Great Big Stamp Moistening Pad
Which is the air readying itself
To stir its cloud vagina
With its beautiful tree fingers

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

We should



"So you're sitting in an F-350. That doesn't             make your lipstick any bigger than mine."



Carrie Fisher

Obi-wan Kenobi...  do you also do hair?




Forever alone.

Except for a website.


My Doctor's Office Doesn't Play Phone Tag. It Plays "Death Tag."

They know my answering machine is snafooey so they wait til near closing time to call with biopsy results...you know, as in normal or MALIGNANT.

I called them back and left a message (even though I knew they were still there). No response. I called again and explained that if one of them was waiting to find out if their biopsy results were cancer or not, they would not appreciate waiting until the next day, and hoped that they would show me that same consideration they would want shown to themselves.

But that elicited a big Nothing.

Their heartstrings are shoelaces.

So I called the Dr. himself, who has never had the decency to introduce himself to me once since I've been visiting the past several months, and he did return my phone call. And one must be careful....if it's not IMPORTANT you will get billed thirty dollars for the call---I had BETTER NOT receive a thirty dollar "cancer is unimportant" surcharge or there will be media coverage as well as fur flying.

Anyway, it was the good folks at Tristan Radiology who finally broke with tradition and patched me through to one of their good doctors who explained my results on the biopsy. I was freaked that it had come back so quickly when they had told me a week.

He said no cancer found, but the cells were irritated. This is in keeping with the other doctor's observation that the surface of my thyroid was in a welter. Well, I have Hashimoto's thyroiditis....my thyroid is slowly making its not-so-gracious exit from my life....it will shrink and shrink away like a dwarf sun until it's just no longer there.

I am so grateful to the kindness of that doctor who spared me a twenty-four hour misery wait.

And I am so disappointed (once again) in the amateurishness and ethical failure of the P.A. squad to whom I am assigned.

It's getting close to the point where I'm going to put these gravamens in writing. And no...not on a blog. I mean correspondence addressed to the one responsible for the running of that office, the doctor himself.

I also had a scare today because my pysch appointment was canceled and I panicked, thinking I was going to lose a health care practitioner (and friend)I value....but reception had just confused his vacation schedule so I had a schedule bump. Whew!

I swear today was one of those days when I considered going inpatient again. But where does that get you? True, you meet some colorful people, but you mostly end up grieving for their problems, which you soon realize are much worse than yours.

Maybe I should only go inpatient in a clinic where I could be ASSURED beforehand I would be the ABSOLUTE WORST PITY CASE...with all the attention and empathy that might entail.

Oh, it just means you'd be their favorite guinea pig to overmedicate.

It's not their liver that will go south from the hepatoxicity, so what do they care, if it makes you chirpy for a few days, months, years.

In the middle of the night I got in a sort of fugue state and I saw my stray cat was looking needy (not for food but attention) on the porch so I snatched him up and took him to my bed and we watched military history together. He seems to like t.v.

I don't believe he lives in a house because things like microwaves dings and aerosol cans still seem completely novel to him.

The thing is sometime in the night/morning he went under the bed. And I completely forgot he was in the house with me. Then I realized mid-morning "where is CAT????" And panicked. And shone the flashlight under the bed and there he was.

He's a spooky cat.

He's probably enountered some bad kids out there. Because he is very cautious when outside. And dogs of course. And other predators.

He still won't willingly go in the room where Dru and he had a horrible fight (this is another story...luckily everyone seems okay now but at the time it was dreadful).

He won't go upstairs to my bed but if I carry him up there and set him on the comforter he starts purring and making dough. We were comfortable together.

But when I fall asleep it's like watching Linda Blair in bed. Limbs flail everywhere and I travel constantly. So I'm guessing that's why he ended up under the bed. I need to get him a mini kitty-bed.

I MUST get him to a vet for at least his rabies and distemper shots (and hopefully feline leukemia first booster).

I had an offer from that Steelton clinic to have EVERYTHING done one night last week but two things happened 1)I was dealing with the possible cancer and 2) He was smart enough not to show up on the night I had pigeonholed as a possible swoop night.

But I don't know if these charity people are top of the line vets or if they fly by the seat of their pants and it is located in an an alley office which makes me think of an old abortion clinic of 1911 (it probably WAS one--this is Steelton!) and it's all moot anwyay because possible cancer and animal canniness prevented it.

I would have felt like such a Judas dropping him off there for those days.

Speaking of "Judas," I have had the new Lady Gaga album blared in my ears for days. I want to smash the c.d. It's more than a little pretentious and the lyrics are so fucked up. The first song isn't bad and I like the German cabaret style number but the rest will need to grow on me. I'm not a Gaga superfan. I tend to like things two years after they're hot.

Back to cat. So. Plan.

Taking him one morning to a vet and just getting the shots and then home to release would probably be much less traumatic. Will deal with the balls issue later. It's not the #1 priority right now...well it is if he's out there making more kittens who will suffer next winter. It's a quandary. But if I at least get the rabies distemper which are ESSENTIAL....and maybe stop at McDonalds on the way home from the vet for a Happy Meal or something as a sop....

He confuses us. He mostly disappears during the day (sleeps in cat colony? so unhealthy!) but when I came back from my biopsy he was there to greet me in mid-day!

How did he know?

Tuesday, May 24, 2011


"This is WHAT YOU GETZ for    making me listen to ENYA!!"

Dragon Voice Recognition Technology

I remember in the early days of Dragon when it was absolutely horrible (and funny) at "transcribing"(sic) human speech.

I used to quiz in the UK Trivium rooms and compete in the tournaments and the answers given by those using Dragon were never accepted by the computer but often made the room crack up.

Sometimes I think they were hoaxsters pretending to have Dragon, because the jokes were too good.

But now Dragon is apparently VERY good at reading human speech (even accents).

So I was looking for a YouTube video of a cat using Dragon to type his speech into a computer but alas nobody has had the idea or posted one yet.

I thought it would have been a cute thing to submit to Cheezburger.

To see the various cat tongues transcribed.

Had Thyroid Biopsy

Was calm during this and the doctor was very deft.

Only problem was he couldn't biopsy the second nodule, as it was placed in a very difficult location...he mentioned worrying about the carotid and the trachea, and needless to say I didn't urge him to take a chance with those.

I just didn't want to have to get an open biopsy later.

He said "No," we could just adopt a 6 month checking pattern (and I advised him of a CAT-scan I had that included that region some time back at Hershey so I said they could probably pull that and look to see if it's unchanging.)

Now the sample goes off and I wait to hear.

He said the multiple nodules are actually usually a better bet than if there is one large nodule...and neither of these is large...1 cm or less.

He thinks it's just part of the pathology of the hypothyroidism (Hashimoto's disease).

The nodules seem to be common as dirt with Hashimoto's peeps from what I read online.

I just have this horrible feeling I'm going to get another call from a perky twenty year old P.A. telling me in fifteen words or less "Oh, it's malignant. Talk to ya soon!"

God, I hate how unseasoned they are.

I swear the doctor I never met could be up there running a snooker hall or something.

He stays upstairs (is he even there?)

Monday, May 23, 2011



Why Does Bjork

Why does the opening of Bjork's song "Pneumonia" from her album Volta remind me so much of Wagner's Vorspiel for Das Rheingold? (This was used very well at the opening of the movie The New World.)

Very musically close.

Last night I was listening to a Sugarcubes album I got in Iceland (on vinyl) and really loving it.

I think they are like one of a tiny handful of bands that really embodied dadaism in the latter half of the twentieth century.

Many of the lyrics of their songs are pure dadaism.

Such a refreshing rejuvenated form of it. Red-blooded.

Not the pallid imitations one usually encounters.

Forever Alone Guy

Buy "divided heart" necklace.  Cat wears other half on collar.

I love the Forever Alone guy meme.

People do so many things with him on the site...animations, comix, you name it.

He gets around.

Like Eleanor Rigby.