Thursday, June 30, 2011

My Yo Mama Jokes

on Scribd have an insane number of reads and comments.

Overall, my documents on there have over 620,000 reads.

Scribd gets a lot of traffic.

So I figured I would give in and work on a blog for the Insensitive and Impaired.

It's ostensibly a Yo Mama site but I want to add other quips and the like.

I do love the Yo Mama jokes though.

It is a very American art form, IMHO.

It has all our crassitude built into it.

I like the gamut of Yo Mamas though, not just "fat." Although that's where I'm starting.

But I think you can link virtually any adjective up with the predicate and run.

I do love watching the Yo Mama slams.

Anyway, here's the blog.

I'm going to try to turn obsessive and write like 10,000 of them or something.

Bipolar people specialize in this type of behavior.

It is, for better or worse, what we do.

I added the blog to my blogroll.

Gender Guesser Analyzes My Writing and Decides My Gender

I fed Gender Guesser the last two blog posts I did and here was the verdict:

Genre: Informal
Female = 2292
Male = 3209
Difference = 917; 58.33%
Verdict: Weak MALE

Weak emphasis could indicate European.

LOL. I love it. Weak equals European male.

As opposed to what? American cowboy?

It gives you both a FORMAL and an INFORMAL analysis.

I was more "guy" under the FORMAL one.
Genre: Formal
Female = 1368
Male = 2423
Difference = 1055; 63.91%
Verdict: MALE

And then I fed it my poem "Ways in Which I am Like Women" and it proved it's pretty smart...it realized I was writing from a feminine perspective in the poem.

Genre: Informal
Female = 465
Male = 44
Difference = -421; 8.64%
Verdict: FEMALE

Genre: Formal
Female = 241
Male = 73
Difference = -168; 23.24%
Verdict: FEMALE

Then I fed it Robert Frost's "Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening."

The narrator's sex is not identified in the poem.

Does GENDER GUESSER just jump on any male pronouns, like that used for the horse?

In any case, it guessed correctly that the author was a man.

You're really supposed to use more 300 words and that's a short poem. Still.

Genre: Informal
Female = 43
Male = 250
Difference = 207; 85.32%
Verdict: MALE


But even still only about 64% male.

That sounds about right to me.

Genre: Formal
Female = 150
Male = 165
Difference = 15; 52.38%
Verdict: Weak MALE

Weak emphasis could indicate European.

Now I want to gender check tons of poems.

But I have other things I have to do.

Oh, I'll check one more.

What's a slightly longer poem?

I'll try Poe's "The Bells."

Wow. Once again GENDER CHECKER got it right.

Genre: Informal
Female = 322
Male = 1728
Difference = 1406; 84.29%
Verdict: MALE

Genre: Formal
Female = 410
Male = 1205
Difference = 795; 74.61%
Verdict: MALE

Okay, I'm going to say something insensitive now. So avert your gaze if you're sensitive. Read on no further.

I'm thinking this is PERFECT for when a woman thinks her boyfriend is acting like a "whiny little bitch" in emails or IM exchanges.

She can feed the text to GENDER CHECKER and throw it at him: IN YOUR FACE!

YOU'RE BEING A LITTLE BIOTCH!

I checked another series of six poems and once again I got the same verdict: Weak (European male) for the INFORMAL and solid MALE for the FORMAL.

This is probably a great forensics tool.

I imagine the FBI has a way better, souped-up version of this thing by now.

They probably have so many linguistic forensics tools we've never even heard of.

Anyway, there is actually a disclaimer about using this for poems (among other things).

Here's the text from the site.

I find this great fun.


About Gender Guesser

In 2003, a team of researchers from the Illinois Institute of Technology and Bar-Ilan University in Israel (Shlomo Argamon, Moshe Koppel, Jonathan Fine, and Anat Rachel Shimoni) developed a method to estimate gender from word usage. Their paper described a Bayesian network where weighted word frequencies and parts of speech could be used to estimate the gender of an author. Their approach made a distinction between fiction and non-fiction writing styles.
A simplified version of this work was implemented as the Gender Genie. They showed that fewer words were needed and that writing styles varied based on the forum. For example, fiction and non-fiction differs from blogs (informal writing). Even though the genres differ, there are still gender-specific word frequencies.

This Gender Guesser system is heavily based on the Gender Genie. In particular, the word lists and weights are reproduced from the Gender Genie. The Gender Guesser extends the interpretation of informal writing to work on blogs and chat-room messages, and combines formal writing styles (fiction, non-fiction, essays, news reports, etc.). It also looks for weak emphasis -- used to distinguish European English from American English. In general, if the difference between male and female weight values is not significant (a "weak" score), then the author could be European. This is because the weight matrix is biased for distinguishing genders in American English.

(Oh yeah, and Gender Guesser is completely implemented in JavaScript. View the source to this page to see all of the code.)

A few quick notes:

The system generates a simple estimate (profiling). While Gender Guesser may be 60% - 70% accurate, it is not 100% accurate. This is better than random guessing (50%), but should not be interpreted as "fact". In particular, men should not be offended if it says you write like a girl.

People write differently in different forums. For example, a single writing sample may appear MALE for informal writing but test as FEMALE for formal writing. Be sure to interpret the results based on the appropriate writing style. (These notes, for example, are more informal/blog than formal/non-fiction.)

Many factors can impact the interpretation from any single person's writing. The content, knowledge of the material, age of the author, nationality, experience, occupation, and education level can all impact writing styles. For example, a woman who has spent 20 years working in a male-dominated field may write like her co-workers. Similarly, professional female writers (and experienced hobbyists) frequently use male writing styles. Gender Guesser does not take any of these factors into account.

Email can blur the lines between formal and informal writing styles. An informal email from a manager may have traces of formality, and a formal email from a 12-year-old is likely to be informal compared to a letter from a 40-year-old. Do not be surprised if email messages sent to public forums test incorrectly -- when writing for an audience, people commonly use informal words, phrases, and slang within a formal writing style.

Quotations, block quotes, and included text usually carries the gender from the initial author. Be sure to remove quoted text from any pasted content. Also, significant changes from a copy-editor can result in a different gender analysis. (A male editor may make a female author's news article appear MALE or as a Weak MALE.)

Lyrics, lists, poems, and prose are special writing styles. This tool is unlikely to classify these texts correctly.

The system needs a paragraph or two of text in order to observe word repetition. A good sample should have 300 words or more. Fewer words can lead to more variation in accuracy, and a single sentence is unlikely to generate an accurate result. Pasting the same text multiple times will not change the results!

People tend to write with consistent styles. If the system misclassifies a particular author, then other writings by the same author will likely be misclassify the same way.

And most importantly: This is an ESTIMATE. Please do not email me about instances where it made the wrong determination. (I've seen it generate incorrect results lots of times already.)


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Future
Hacker Factor is currently developing a variation of this system that can estimate an authors age, type of English used (for narrowing down nationality), and whether the speaker uses English as a second language. For example, there are distinctions between American English, British English, Commonwealth, Canadian, Australian, and other dialects. Even within a major dialect such as American English, there are regionally specific subdialects. These variations are not limited to spoken words. Many of these dialect variations show up in the words we use.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This software is provided as open source, but it is not "free software". This software may not be used for commercial purposes, may not be redistributed on another Web site, and may not be reproduced in a different medium in whole or in part without the explicit written permission of the author, Neal Krawetz. It is provided with no warranty expressed or implied, may not be accurate, and may not be suitable for any particular task or need. Use at your own risk. In jurisdictions where a warranty must be provided, this software cannot be used. (In non-legalese: You can look at how it works, but ask before you take.)


Copyright © 2006 Neal Krawetz, Hacker Factor Solutions. All rights reserved.

No Offense Intended to Transgender of any Stripe

But I thought this was fucking funny.

And we've all been seriously wondering for years.

All the hatred might really be self-hatred.

Hon, you can have that tracheal shave taken down a little lower. Just ask the Thai surgeon to use the LARGE planer next time.



More hate and flippancy about people's lives.



I guess I'm falling right into her obvious publicity whore tactics by posting ANYTHING at all about this overexposed creature.

It's clear that early on in the game she decided she had to be as "tough as the guys" or "outguy the guys."

Sad.

But here she just shows she's obtuse on many issues.

This gaffe is unfortunately pretty typical for her with regards to little things like facts, figures...you know, REALITY.



And read this...this is brilliant...from Burton Mackenzie's blog...

Gender Guesser Calls Anne Out

Things

The world is filled with things.

Something must be made of them.

"No ideas but in things?"

"No things but in ideas?"

Groundhogs are eating what were to have been my beautiful sunflowers. I finally foiled my yearly Sunflower Thief, who callously snips the heads off my sunflowers every year. I relocated the sunflowers the near side of my stone wall and planted others at porch edge. Both zones will require too much pussyfooting for all but the most audacious Sunflower Thief.

I guess they make her happy. Why do I say "her?" It could be a guy stealing them. But not likely. I thought about wiring an alarm system to them, just because I love the idea of sunflowers that would sound an alarm--with decibels high enough to match an annoying car alarm.

Just thinking of her face as her scissors begin the first snip and the car alarm goes off.

Or I suppose I could put one of those motion-activated wildlife cameras out there and have funny photos of her horrified flashbulbed face, scissors in grubby thieving little paw.

She's a kleptomaniac of flowers. I suppose that's a beautiful thing. In a way.

Well, I did deploy an alarm system in the garden but it's laughably bad. And it's for the groundhogs, not her. I found this little plastic lamb in a thrift store years ago and he has a motion sensor in his side. When you walk by him, he BAAAAS loudly. So I put that by the sunflowers nearest the house. But Lee pointed out that surely the groundhogs are only predating at night and the sensor won't work then. I remarked that our neighbor has a strong backyard security light that's on most of the time, so it just might. This is far-fetched anti-groundhog optimism, for sure.

I know there are all sorts of urban legends about what to sprinkle around to keep groundhogs from eating various crops or flowers. I did use my own hair one year and it worked. I don't think it was personal. Any human hair is not a good scent to them.

But I didn't feel like chopping off any hair so I just sprinkled some rubbing alcohol and witch hazel in a perimeter around both sets of sunflowers--those near the porch and those near my stone wall.

And it worked! So far! As soon as it rains I'm thinking the scent will probably be diminished enough they'll return. But even if we go just a few days without rain the sunflowers will gain a little more vertical distance. Oh, who am I kidding? The groundhogs will bend them...and they are known to "fell" tall plants by gnawing the base like little lumberjacks. They're not entirely as stupid as they look.

But I refuse to harm them. I practice ahimsa with regard to most creatures. I will admit to flushing the occasional spider.

I feel much less bad about it now that I actually read the science of such invertebrates and their inability to feel pain.

I mean it made sense. Why else would a moth or beetle continually fly around a light bulb or flame until its body is sizzled up? Obviously they're oblivious.

Isn't it weird that every bit of nature (including us) is oblivious in manifold directions?

Think of all the stuff we're clueless about. Like everything happening in ultraviolet light that insects are seeing. Things happening in wavelengths of sound above and below us. And there are probably forms of energy of which we are completely oblivious altogether, that we can't augment with instrumentation to experince, because we don't have the sensory apparatus to "read" them.

It's funny to imagine there is some form of absolutist knowledge, and we pretend this is the case in human philosophy, but I doubt there is such a thing.

The five senses philosophy is every bit the flybottle Wittgenstein said it was.

We now know the Newtonian "absolutist" views on time and space are both completely wrong.

It's so silly when we pretend as though human consciousness were the apex of the universe. That's an idea the Humanists planted in everyone's hubristic little brains. Shakespeare praised man as "the paragon of animals."

And we should probably edit it to "the paragon of animals in sight."

Quite possibly there are "animals" out of our purview that would look at us as residing at the nadir.

It's no accident that we say the world "makes sense." It makes the sense that the senses deign to make. And no more.

"Tell me where the past years are, or who clift the Devil's foot."

I think I'm remembering that Donne line correctly. Probably not his archaic spelling.

Was it "Divil's?"

His poem about the imponderables is still apt.

"Ou sont les neiges d'antan."

The materialist will just point to the ground, of course.

Is there any mystery in time? I mean the way St. Augustine saw mystery in it.

For the materialist, I suppose there is not.

I find many intellectuals choose to be philosophically perverse.

Their minds decide the universe is ultimately materialistically perfectly intelligible.

But their heart decides to side with some spiritual or metaphorical chimera of a philosophy.

That is the charm of the human. For me anyway.

The Will to Obliviousness.

I don't think it's cowardly, as some hardcore materialists would say.

I think it leads to a form of agnostic compassion.

Hardcore materialists have often been the ones who ended up creating cultures which saw human beings as totally dispensable entities. These are often the cultures in which the State sanctioned mass murders.

The argument about whether you need God or a god to ground ethics is moot.

Highly ethical atheists are everywhere. I assume they're the majority today, despite what people say when they're polled about their belief in God.

Was it true that Gertrude Stein's last words were "What is the answer?" followed by a laugh and "What is the question?"

If so, she went out on a Wittgensteinian note that perfectly crowned her body of work.

Because what I love about Stein's more abstruse writing is how it is totally beyond questions and answers.

Of course, there were many Steins.

She proved she knew how to write a book everybody could read and understand with her funny Autobiography.

One could almost call writing someone else's autobiography a conceptualist gesture. Almost. I suppose in her lifetime it was.

I like the way the more abstruse Stein enacts ideas of presence.

A poem should be as meaningful and as meaningless as a red cardinal.

"A poem should not mean but be."

Archibald MacLeish said it. But Stein lived it.

And as the vast majority of people will ultimately experience a sense of indifference--inmixed with a little flutter of delight--when they see a red cardinal, so poetry goes to its similar fate.

Like a red cardinal.

Which achieves its maximum aesthetic effect when posed against the white freeze of winter.

So poetry galvanizes with its red cardinal snow gestalt. Galvanizes freezing minds.

Poetry is best suited to freezing minds. Minds that freeze. On perceptions. On thoughts. On the barbs of human thought and behavior. The barbules. Poets love those. Preening their linguistic wings. Putting their barbules in order.

Or that's the enjoyable stereotype.

The one I entertain today. This hour. For a few minutes.

Penmanship

PENMANSHIP CLASS

Business Cat

HAVE A DAY.

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Dying

Dying is the new living large.

NO PHOTOS

NO PHOTOS!!  I JUST HAZ A BORN!!

Paranoia Big Destroya

PARANOIA                    IS A VERY     COSTLY TRIP

so

"So you're a flaming bisexual              now?"

If You are Near Seattle


Look what you can do!

You can come out for Cheezburger Night with the Mariners.

Aren't the Huhs (Top Cheezes at ICHC) adorable?

I'm Telling Lies Again

I had forgotten all about my Blog of Lies.

I don't know why the links aren't working today. It's at www.evilblogoflies.blogspot.com. Wait, it's in my blogroll at the left. I wish I had a STAPLES "That Was Easy" button to push now. I used to have one of those on my desk at work. You could hamfist it and it would say it in that great cheesy STAPLES voice. I'd like to meet the guy. Who recorded that. It would be one of the highlights of my life.



I'm editing it today. I'm writing over lies I don't find funny. There are a lot of these. And telling new lies in their place.


I Have Never

I have never written a book of "Letters to Helen Keller" that was a series of fabric swatches.


Lie

I don't wish The Bachelor's Jake Pavelka would spontaneously combust while Tweeting. I don't wish he would suffer from a strange medical condition in which his entire body turned to cheese. And a cheese nobody likes. I don't wish that.


I Was Not Cited

I was not cited for "pestering" and "touching" a Lord a'Leaping when he leaped too close to me in our town's public Christmas show this year.



My Neighbors

My neighbors don't make the "sign of the cross" when they pass my house. Even though none of them are really even religious.


I Don't

I don't put cheerleading outfits on kitty cats and then film them from behind while they're walking around.

I Have Never

I have never sustained a "masturbation-related" injury.

Suggestion to the American Criminal Justice System

I think a good punishment for judges to dole out would be to make offenders have to follow Jake Pavelka's Twitter....for like any significant length of time.

The only problem is the civil suits family members might bring against the state when a large number of these people inevitably commit suicide.

I Find it Rather Eerie

I find it rather eerie that when I Googled Green Gartside's sung phrase "I'm very strange about love" (sung at the end of the song Petrococadollar) that only SIX entries come up and they are all references to the song.

Isn't it strange that no one else would have spoken or written these five simple words in that order?

Anyway, I love the song. I love the version of the video I found on YouTube (see below) and I love that phrase.

I suppose it says something about the vastness of language and the spaces between.

That if you put quotes around the phrase ONLY that song is referenced.

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Fox News on Gay Marriage

I wish I could have found on YouTube the clip that I caught by accident on my local Fox News affiliate tonight.

I was watching REAL news on another channel and just happened to land on Fox News during a commercial break.

They inserted this little propaganda squib in the middle of the news explaining why gay marriage is horrible for the country.

It was such classical Orwellian doublespeak I nearly jumped up out of my chair.

The logic was that state-sanctioned marriages require marriage licenses (with an attendant expense) and this is a violation of church and state.

The commentator then when on to use extreme scare tactics, implying that this "intrusion" by government could end up with government taking control of our children, our private lives, everything.

The commentator said (verbatim): "This is a violation of our civil rights."

So in other words, War is Peace. People being granted equal civil rights is a violation of everyone's civil rights.

This was a way to try to do an end sneak around any bogus, indefensible "moral" argument or hatespeech (the latter of course what this really was).

So we're not HATING anyone or separating anyone OUT...rather we're speaking up for EVERYONE.

Fox is hoping that enough of the "undecided" in the audience are dumb enough to think this bullshit "argument" makes sense.

The whole thing was this cheesy Power Point-like presentation with the guy walking around in an urban space with things like The Declaration of Independence "projected" large on walls behind him. Jingoism. Classic propagandistic technique. But then what propagandistic technique was not used in this sop?

Funny. They've never complained about this marriage license being onerous before. Only now. I wonder why that should be. Hmmm....

Another funny (verbatim) quote from the Power Point prissiness: "George and Martha Washington didn't need a license to get married." Yes, the intonation was strong on the names of the Father of Our Country and his wife. And there they were, projected on the wall behind the commentator in another cheesy Power Point pseudo-patriotic, propagandistic panoply. (Barely) hidden subtext: "the Father of Our Country would hate gay marriage."

And what else would Washington hate? Oh say, little things like the emancipation of American slaves?

But then Fox news is always about trying to turn the clock back 200 years or so, isn't it?

If Washington came back from the grave, it would probably be embarrassingly necessary to drive a stake through his little retrograde, agrarian, slave economy heart.

Even Republicans would probably want to do that. Get real. Nobody really wants to party like it's 1799.

And how disingenuous is it to ignore the practical uses of marriage licenses in an organized modern society? If you are going to have marriage and its attendant privileges and benefits (and liabilities, to speak realistically) correct records need to be maintained. Of course the bureaucracy necessary to maintain such documents is going to involve some expense. How could it be otherwise?

But here's where Fox "logic" gets really squirrelly and circular. Because the thing the commentator says so glibly and with sick nostalgia really, really fast is that (in Washington's time) marriages would have been only sanctioned through church. So the commentator is saying gay marriage is bad because it's part of state-sanctioned marriage and is a danger to the separation of church and state. But the alternative apres Fox is that all marriages would ONLY be recognized or sanctioned by churches. So the church would be ASSUMING the functions of state, since a marriage is a legally binding union with manifold legal consequences. Would the church also be deciding alimony, child support payments and such in this backwards world view espoused by Fox? But of course there would be no divorce, right? Because only perfect spirituals unions would be occurring, right? And don't forget that many gay people with spiritual beliefs who are allowed by their state to marry want to get married guess where...wait for it....wait for it...a church! The ONLY reason Fox uses this argument is because they think that most churches would oppose gay marriage. But even that is starting to change, and will probably continue trending universally towards an acceptance of gay marriage. Sure, it might be 2600 until say hardcore opponents like the Catholic Church get there, but it took that church quite some time to get past things like Inquisitions and banning 90% of current world literature. (That is, if people don't simply tire of the institution of marriage altogether and opt for some new form of recognition of commensal bonds).

En bref, it was so fucking lame. But it was geared to the dumbest people watching and doubtless some dumb people were stirred by this pseudo-patriotic, pseudo-watchdog bullshit.

At one point there was a very large phrase on the wall that read "SEPERATION OF CHURCH AND STATE" (sic).

They couldn't even spell separation correctly.

This was the most idiotic piece of propaganda I have seen in a while.

But then I don't watch Fox.

Or I'm sure I'd be typing the same fucking thing every night.

I really should NEVER watch the news.

Because what I learned in just one (rare) night of watching television is that

1) The NRA lobbyists managed to get a bill passed in PA that states you basically can shoot anyone now outside your home if you feel menaced. You don't even have to try to get away anymore. Do you know how many people are going to be set up to be murdered now that this defense is in place. Murder of ex-spouses and such is going to go through the fucking roof. You probably think this ia a joke, something I'm making up. Look it up. The legislators who voted against it said they could not come up with ONE SINGLE PAST CASE in which this law would have been beneficial. So this was in violation of basic legislative philosophy: you do not pass laws which have no practical use or will do more harm than good.

2) Harrisburg city is bankrupt and wants to pass THEIR problem onto the rest of us in the entire county (after they sell off assets and do a lot of other desperate things).

The news is now past unreal.

I really couldn't watch this shit every night.

It would be like the fucking Ludovici technique (is that the name of that toothpick torture flooding in A Clockwork Orange?)

I'm Starting a New Book Today

I'm really bored with poetry lately.

Bored with most others' poetry. Bored with my own even more.

I know I have a book or two or three of poetry to put out eventually from all my scribbling that will be "me." In all my weirdness.

But like almost everyone, 98% of what I wrote is crap. Or has been said before. Done before. Done better. Not that the unsaid is to be valorized. If that were true, everyone in the Word Salad movement would be a genius. I know they think they are. But no.

But there's always that little bit of the unique in each of us.

The ways in which we were uniquely damaged by the culture, or simply reality, that makes our words interesting.

Or the philosophically funny poems.

Most poets who are important today are poets who are philosophically funny. You know it's true if you think about it. They all do schtick to a certain degree. It almost has to be done because of the age of the art. It's the same thing that happened with painting; the art had to accept self-referentiality and self-consciousness of artifice as part and parcel of the game.

These poets are funny rather in the way Stevens was philosophically funny. I mean the pain at the heart of that comedic Wortspiel too. Which is a totally Stevensian thing.

But I'm going to try to write a book with a minimum of artifice.

Unfortunately, because of the way my mind is fucked up, this will require a maximum of pathology.

The book is going to be about the will to die.

The will to live will intrude of course. How could that "valorous vine" (to quote Guest) not?

I remember writing a pair of poems (a diptych?) with one poem "The Will to Live" and the other poem "The Will to Die."

I don't think I was really successful at what I wanted to achieve with the poems.

I wanted the poems to show that both wills are equally valid.

That both wills are part of the fabric of life.

Anyway, I should go try and do this.

I've been LOLing for months and it's been a blast. Candy.

I doubt this will be a therapeutic project. But who knows.

It will involve talking to others a lot and some dark people.

This isn't new to me.

I just always erased it all before.

I want to see what happens if I don't erase it.

Monday, June 27, 2011

McStay Family Speculation

I have altered my own theory about the ultimate fate of the McStay family (see previous posts here for backstory).

A few troubling facts make me now believe that Summer McStay (or Lisa Aranda or take your pick of one of her many aliases) probably had her husband Joseph killed and went into Mexico with a man with whom she was romantically involved.

I admit this is largely intuition, but I base this also on a constellation of troubling facts.

1. At first, I was unsure which adult was searching the internet for passport requirements for entry/exit from Mexico. I now believe this was Summer because a story in one of the L.A. papers also revealed that Summer was taking a course to learn Spanish in the months before the family's disappearance..

2. Joseph's brother when asked by Nancy Grace whether he thought Summer could bring harm to her husband did NOT categorically deny this possibility. His answer was something like "I hope not." This sort of doubt implies to me he knows more about tensions or troubles in the relationship, pre-disappearance.

3. Many sources seem to believe it is definitely Summer and the children in the videotape of four people walking into Mexico by night (and the timing--one hour after the car was left nearby!) but many (including Joseph's own mother) do not believe the man who is holding the hand of the other child (Chubba) is really Joseph McStay. As his mother pointed out, his voluminous hair would have shown up on silhouette--even if tucked in, the bulk of the head would appear differently than it does. And I just put a lot of stock in the mother's belief. That she would recognize her son.

4. People have reported that Summer McStay was involved in illegal real estate dealings. I can't verify this but this information has appeared on more than one reputable site.

I just now intuitively believe that Summer McStay engineered the disappearance, and if there was another man in her life I don't think that bodes well. I mean in regard to the chances that Joseph Mcstay is alive.

To presume an abduction of Summer and the children by a stranger when there is so much indication of planning for this escape into Mexico seems implausible.

Was the purchase of toys found in the abandoned vehicle a ruse to distract the children from the disturbing turn of events...possibly a stay in a motel with their mother and a strange man....and the absence of their father?

And I used to wonder at the several days that elapsed before the "family" crossed over into Mexico.

But if you have to get rid of a body, that takes time and preparations.

Spinsters R US

SPINSTERS R US

Love. Want.

Peace



This first song. Transcendence.

Here's a Great Green Gartside Interview

from May 2011...well-written.

Meditations on what it means to be a Welsh musician, to be vilified by the music press and to find rebirth in music...

Loved this.

Glad to see virtually everyone is realizing 2006's solo work White Bread, Black Beer is a classic, and the comparisons with genius Brian Wilson are merited.

If you're a genius, you eventually listen to people's advice to "Fork Off!"

Okay, maybe that wasn't what they were saying, but luckily that's what the geniuses usually hear.

Scritti Politti

Lately, I have long pleasant dreams in which early eighties bands appear.

Last night, I enjoyed an extended "command performance" by Scritti Politti in my dreams, and instead of being a ghost-like observer in my Police dream, in this one I got to interact extensively with the band.

I hate to say but I think the performance took place in a shopping mall, in a store...like Boscov's or something.

Where do the imaginary songs in dreams come from? Because I asked them to perform songs I did not know and sure enough they were Scritti Politti songs--except they never existed.

So I figured I'd look for some of Green's great recent work and stumbled on this newsflash from 1984.

So welcome back to 1984.

Here's what happened this week in the wonderful world of 80s pop.

Nick Lowe is there too.

And who doesn't love to sing "Cruel to Be Kind" while washing dishes?

Sunday, June 26, 2011

O Noes

OH NO! OUR KITTENS HAVE  JOINED A RELIGIOUS COLT!

Speaking of Celts

I watched this National Geographic special tonight, making a strong case for the viewpoint that Druids did practice human sacrifice.

Often, it has been conjectured that Caesar and other Roman writers/historians vilified and libeled the Druids and Celts and imputed rituals to them which they did not actually practice--i.e. that these Romans wrote agit-prop propaganda to make the case for complete expansionist colonialist domination of not only the European Celts but the British ones as well.

But the evidence the archeologists are finding is bearing out what the Romans wrote.

And many of these scholars weighing in are British, Welsh and French scholars in Brittany, etc., so even if they had a chauvinistic or nationalistic tendentiousness, they're not letting it skew their scientific judgment of the forensic evidence at hand.

There seems to be strong evidence for Druid/Celtic ritual human sacrifice in numerous locations and time periods.

It's an interesting documentary if you get a chance to see it.

It's funny that the Romans pretended to be shocked at the "primitive" Druids.

Since so many atrocities were committed in the name of the Roman Empire since forever, I mean. Violence was just part of the weave of life. If you look at human history, the idea of "safety" is such a modern idea, it's pitifully laughable.

And the Romans probably didn't see their Colosseum games (to mention just one major forum for bloodshed) as a form of human sacrifice...more a test of mettle/spirit.

That wives and slaves could be routinely put to death with impunity under the power of the paterfamilias probably seemed so much more enlightened to Romans.

Or the treatment of "troublesome" minorities like Christians. This was probably seen more as activities practiced for the salubreity of the State.

Everybody has a "reason" for brutality or murder in that time period.

It's just no culture believed any other culture's "reasons."

Only their own.

Which would be funny if it weren't so sickening.

Anyway, I love the Druid artifacts they show.

They were quite beautiful in their handiwork, whether it was weapons, jewelry or religious icons.

The Latest Country to Visit My Blog Here is The Isle Of Man


I was impressed with their flag.

We had a beloved Manx cat for many years.

I'd love to visit the Isle someday.

Where did the director of Abre Los Ojos film his moody ghost story...one of the Channel Islands right? Was that fog naturally there? Don't think it was the Isle of Man, though. Think it was one of the other ones.

*

The Isle of Man is a British crown dependency and lies in the Irish Sea
*

The origins of the name of the island are unknown but it is referred to in Scandinavian Sagas as Mon or Maon
*

As the above picture of the Isle of Man Flag indicates the overall background Red
*

According to Ancient and Heraldic traditions much symbolism is associated with colors. The colors on the Isle of Man flag represent the following:
o

Red - hardiness, bravery, strength & valour

*

The basic style shown in the picture of the Isle of Man flag is described as Emblem -reflecting the central design of the flag pattern
*

All Flag pictures depict flags flying, from the viewer's point of view, from left to right
*

The shape and flag ratio of the Isle of Man flag is described as 1:2 ( length twice the height )
*

The emblem on the Isle of Man flag pictures the "trinacria" emblem in the centre which is a Coat of Arms which date back to the 13th century
*

The Meaning & History of the Isle of Man Flag - The Isle of Man emblem depicts the triskell, or triskelion, from the Greek "three-legged" is one of the oldest symbols known to mankind and depicts triplicity in unity:
o

The triskell is featured the Celtic religion, and is said to represent the three dynamic elements: water, air, and fire
o

The representation of the triskell must be dextrogyrous (turning to the right)
o

A senstrogyrous (turning to the left) triskell would have a hostile meaning
o

The war dances of the ancient Celts started by turning to the left to show hostility, and ended by turning to the right, as a sign of victory

One of My Favorite Gifs on the Cheezburger Site

funny gifs


is the priceless "Dat's Racist" gif.

Which is always applied to things on the Cheezburger site which aren't racist at all, but the sort of things stupid people say are racist.

This meme has a venerable history.

About

“That’s Racist” is a catchphrase that stems from a popular GIF animation featuring a little boy mouthing the phrase. The GIF animation can be found on various forum threads across the web, usually within the context of humorously pointing out the politically incorrect or insensitive nature of someone else’s post.
Origin

The source material that the “That’s Racist” GIF comes from is the short-lived TV series Wonder Showzen. The series originally aired from 2005 to 2006 on MTV2.
The viral pilot

Although the “That’s Racist” GIF comes from an episode of Wonder Showzen, the pilot episode enjoyed a bit of viral fame prior to the series ever airing, during the early days of online video sharing before Youtube.

The pilot episode for Wonder Showzen was simply titled “Kids Show” and was first developed not for MTV, but for USA Networks. Nearly two years prior to the show’s first broadcast, the pilot episode had been making the rounds on various sites around the web as a Windows Media Video download. In 2003, Flash video embedding was still in its infancy.
Spread

On October 30th, 2003, the popular Waxy.org blog hosted a link to the WMV and announced the recent signing of a 6 month contract with MTV.

The video was later hosted on eBaum’s World where the majority of other forums linked to the video through much of 2004.

* Tremek.com
* Ckyforums
* Beyond Unreal

Das Racist

A rap group in Brooklyn, New York, named themselves “Das Racist” inspired by the Wonder Showzen clip. From Wikipedia:

I think being minorities at a liberal arts college and that type of environment had an impact on both the way we view race and our sense of humor, which people often use as a tool to deal with race. I always felt like Wonder Showzen was a television show that captured that type of thing perfectly. When I saw the little kid yelling “THAT’S RACIST” it blew my mind. And then it became a game … to take all the seriousness out of making legitimate commentary on race, because that can get very annoying. So when something veering on racially insensitive would pop off in a commercial on television or something it would be like, who could yell “That’s Racist” first. And then we thought it would be a cool name. Das EFX may have been an inspiration.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

I Can't Drink

I can't drink since I'm being a nursemaid.

Or something like that.

Lee had hernia surgery (runs in his family--his brother had the same problem).

At least it was laparoscopy but he's in major pain.

So being of the junkie mindset, I just encourage him to take as much of the oxycodone as he wants.

Why suffer. I have more anyway. I'm like a freakin dispensary, trust me.

It's not to my liking. Does nothing for me. I'd never become an oxycodone addict. Probably because I have a feminized brain or something. I think I read it's a male drug. It was like water to me when I was on it.

So I'm popping valerian to offset the comedown. Not that I've ever had the d.t.'s or anything. I guess I'm not physically addicted to that degree. I do stop for months at a time and it's not a difficulty.

Lee's pretty much confined to the first floor since stairs are a little too painful right now.

I've tried to make everything nice down there and make the living room an impromptu bedroom.

I did a big grocery run (despite my agoraphobic tendencies) and made sure he has a lot of his favorites.

My sunflowers and tomatoes are growing like gangbusters.

Today I made turkey chili (without the beans). Lee didn't want any. I halved an avocado and filled it with turkey chili and it was really good.

I've lost a few pounds lately but it's probably not from the exercise. Just that in summer who wants to eat a lot. The heat usually.

But last night I actually turned air conditioners off. It's cool today. Nice.

The tomatoes love the freaking heat though. That heat wave made them grow like crazy...while killing practically everything else...or coming close.

Malkin visits but it isn't everyday.

He wants affection more than he wants food I think.

I had him inside yesterday and he napped on me.

I really have to get him to a vet for vaccinations. I keep putting it off and his life is probably in jeopardy.

He has to have other caregivers because some nights he doesn't show up.

I was worried cuz his one eye looks a little teary to me. My mom's cat (adopted as a stray) had the same problem and even though she's healthy she never really recovered from that. I wonder what causes that.

We give him the dewormer, the flea and tick treatment monthly, the ear mite treatment.

I looked at Walmart to see if they had anything else healthy. I only found some snacks supposedly healthy for his teeth that have vitamins so I got those.

If he's still outdoors when the weather turns cold I'll have to convert the back spare bedroom into "Malkin's room." Because Dru tried to kill him in an accidental meeting one night. They tumbled in a ball, tooth and nail, down the stairs and into the living room. Both cats seemed fine but Lee ended up going to the e.r. That's where the first oxycodone came from. Dru bit down to the bone.

Lee's hand was a bloody mess and he was describing sensations of paresthesia that I knew signaled at least some nerve involvement.

I had never expected such a mellow, lifelong indoor cat to suddenly turn into a seething banshee.

Malkin held his own, and he's less than half Dru's size. He must have been in scrapes already, living on the streets.

And now Dru is back to lying on his back and looking like the innocent sloth I always thought he was.

But now I look at him twice sometimes.

Territoriality is ugly.

I was hoping neither of them "gave each other" anything in that unexpected battle.

But they both seem fine a month or more later.

I was a basket case the day it happened. Lee was totally freaked out. He kept repeating he should have known better and thrown a towel over Dru. He used to work with animals. It was just a "slip of the moment," impulse thing.

If I were faster I would have probably used cold water to try to separate them.

Or the towel thing.

But it all went down in seconds.

We really thought Lee might have nerve damage.

You really need to get to an e.r. fast because even your tame, family cat can cause you to have a finger or more amputated if you let the bacteria fester.

You need an antibiotic (and probably more) right away.

I wouldn't talk to or look at Dru for days. And I think he felt guilty because he avoided me too.

Maybe he blamed me for the fight and it wasn't guilt but seething resentment.

Anyway, he's friendly now but I have to watch my Malkin interactions.

God know Dru does.

I have to pen him up when Malkin's around.

Sometimes Dru will sneak up on me when I'm stepping out to put food out for Malkin.

He's like a fucking vampire with that.

You look back and there he is, pretending like he's not there to stalk Malkin.

I noticed Malkin no longer goes nosing around to see what room Dru is in.

He contents himself with visiting us.

I guess he got that "curiosity" satisifed...all too well.

Was Looking at the Photos


of gay couples celebrating in New York.

Twas nice.

Homophobia becomes Homophoria.

Here's my favorite photo...an exuberant guy knocked his guy down into the street when the news was announced.

Or maybe it was a Beatles tribute. "Let's do it in..." Well, you know.

Give a Monkey

GIVE A MONKEY A BANANA, HE EATS TODAY.

(((((cheezburger))))))

merci merci.

The Gothic Archies



Stephen Merritt.

Of course, I'll have to post this at my Halloweeniana blog.

Congratulations, New York!

For siding with the future.

If you live in New York you can now choose a husband (and most likely future ex-husband).

But more is the fun and happier are the merchants of wedding paraphernalia.

If you can't top the gay wedding in the sequel to the Sex in the City movie though, I say why bother?

I Dreamt the Police



I dreamt I was watching the early Police (band) recording early albums.

Like a ghost.

It was fun.

Most of the dream was more in the Outlandos and Regatta phase but then I realized how much I still love this song.

Like the Jet Li fan vid someone made lol.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Florence Foster Jenkins (1868-1944)


I had never heard of Florence (or heard Florence "sing" before).

This is a trip.

I found her on a list of the "most bizarre celebrities."



Here's her WIKI...

Florence Foster Jenkins (July 19, 1868 – November 26, 1944) was an American soprano who became famous for her complete lack of rhythm, pitch, tone, and overall singing ability.

Early years

Born Narcissa Florence Foster in Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, to Charles Dorrance Foster and Mary Jane Hoagland,[1] Jenkins received music lessons as a child, and expressed a desire to go abroad to study music. Her wealthy father refused to pay the bill, so she eloped to Philadelphia with Frank Thornton Jenkins, a medical doctor. The two were married circa 1885, and divorced in 1902.[1] Jenkins earned a living in Philadelphia as a teacher and pianist, and beginning in 1908, began living with St. Clair Bayfield, with whom she would live for the rest of her life.[2]

Upon her father's death in 1909,[1] Jenkins inherited a sum of money which allowed her to take up the singing career that had been discouraged by her parents and former husband.[3] She became involved in the musical life of Philadelphia, and later New York City, where she founded and funded the Verdi Club, took singing lessons, and began to give recitals, her first in 1912.[3] Her mother's death in 1928 gave her additional freedom and resources to pursue singing.

Career

From her recordings, it is apparent that Jenkins had little sense of pitch and rhythm and was barely capable of sustaining a note. Her accompanist can be heard making adjustments to compensate for her tempo variations and rhythmic mistakes. Her dubious diction, especially in foreign language songs, is also noteworthy. Nonetheless, she became tremendously popular in her unconventional way. Her audiences apparently loved her for the amusement she provided rather than her musical ability. Critics often described her work in a backhanded way that may have served to pique public curiosity.

Despite her patent lack of ability, Jenkins was firmly convinced of her greatness. She compared herself favorably to the renowned sopranos Frieda Hempel and Luisa Tetrazzini, and dismissed the laughter which often came from the audience during her performances as coming from her rivals consumed by "professional jealousy." She was aware of her critics, however, saying "People may say I can't sing, but no one can ever say I didn't sing."

"The music Jenkins tackled in her recitals was a mixture of the standard operatic repertoire by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Giuseppe Verdi and Johann Strauss (all of them well beyond her technical ability), lieder (including works by Johannes Brahms and Joaquín "Quinito" Valverde's "Clavelitos" ["Little Carnations"], a favorite encore), and songs composed by herself or her accompanist, Mr. Cosmé McMoon, who reportedly made faces at Jenkins behind her back to get laughs.

Jenkins often wore elaborate costumes that she designed herself, sometimes appearing in wings and tinsel, and, for "Clavelitos", throwing flowers into the audience while fluttering a fan and sporting more flowers in her hair. After each performance Cosmé McMoon would collect these flowers from the auditorium in readiness for redistribution at the next one.

After a taxicab crash in 1943 she found she could sing "a higher F than ever before." Instead of filing a lawsuit against the taxicab company, she sent the driver a box of expensive cigars.[4]

In spite of public demand for more appearances, Jenkins restricted her rare performances to a few favorite venues, and her annual recital at the Ritz-Carlton ballroom in New York City. Attendance at her recitals was always limited to her loyal clubwomen and a select few others – she handled distribution of the coveted tickets herself. At the age of 76, Jenkins finally yielded to public demand and performed at Carnegie Hall on October 25, 1944. So anticipated was the performance that tickets for the event sold out weeks in advance. Jenkins died a month later at her residence, the Hotel Seymour in Manhattan.[1] She had lived with her manager St. Clair Bayfield, an American stage actor, for 36 years.

Recordings

Jenkins recorded nine arias on five 78-rpm records, which have been reissued on three CDs. The Muse Surmounted: Florence Foster Jenkins and Eleven of Her Rivals (Homophone Records) contains only one Jenkins performance, Valse Caressante, for voice, flute and piano, but it includes an interview with the composer, who was also her accompanist, Cosmé McMoon. The Glory (????) of the Human Voice (RCA Victor) contains the other eight arias, all accompanied by McMoon. Jenkins appears on the cover in one of her many recital costumes, "Angel of Inspiration". The album Murder on the High C's (Naxos Records) contains all nine arias plus performances by others, but it lacks the interview with McMoon.

In popular culture

Stephen Pile, in his 1979 Book of Heroic Failures lists Jenkins as the "The World's Worst Opera Singer". He noted that she gained the sobriquet of "La Jenkins" within her lifetime. The description of her "successes" is complete, and it mentions that in one performance of her show-stopper "Clavelitos" (see above) she not only threw the carnations, but also the basket. Her farewell concert at Carnegie Hall is described in brief.

In 1999 one-woman play Goddess of Song by South African playwright Charles J. Fourie was staged at the Coffee Lounge in Cape Town. In 2001 Viva La Diva, another play about Jenkins by Chris Ballance, had a run at the Edinburgh Fringe.[5] Another play about Jenkins's life, Souvenir, by Stephen Temperley, opened on Broadway in November 2005, and starred Judy Kaye as Jenkins.[6] Kaye commented that "It's hard work to sing badly well. You could sing badly badly for a while but you'll hurt yourself if you do it for long."[7] A third play about Jenkins, Glorious! by Peter Quilter, opened two months earlier in England, starring Maureen Lipman as Jenkins.[8] [9] It has since been widely translated and performed in more than 20 countries.

Jenkins is mentioned in several works by musical artists. Boston-based indie folk band The Everyday Visuals released a song "Florence Foster Jenkins" on their self-titled LP in 2009. The song references her performance at Carnegie and other aspects of her life.[10] A hidden track entitled "Encore for Florence" concludes folk singer Mary Hampton's debut album My Mother's Children.

Jenkins, dubbed "Flo Fo" by NBC's Brian Williams (a pun on "Flo Jo," the nickname of the late athlete Florence Griffith-Joyner), was the subject of the "Not My Job" segment of NPR's Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me! for October 25, 2009, when Williams was the show's special guest that week. The episode appropriately took place in Carnegie Hall.[11]

Business Cat

BUSINESS CAT INCREASES VIGILANCE

Thursday, June 16, 2011

the world's tragedies

THE WORLD'S TRAGEDIES WEIGH HEAVILY ON MY HEAD. WAIT. OTHER WAY AROUND.

wonderful

((((Cheezburger)))))

I think I'm in a bad period.

I'm having trouble with basic things like memory.

I have been in a fugue state several times recently.

I use the computer to try to reconstruct these missing periods.

Thought about committing myself but can't face that place again.

Sleep.

I'm going to sleep.

God bless medications and over the counter benadryl.

I see that Malkin has water and gets fed but can barely manage anything else.

How can one be on a downward spiral when one doesn't even do anything.

Agoraphobia worse. Disappointed people again yesterday when I couldn't bring myself to leave the house.

I did one "adventurous" thing past the door of my house.

I got the pepper and tomato fingerlings into the earth.

I was heartsick when the heat wave "killed" them last week.

But water therapy revived all but two of them.

And I realized "it's now or never." So I did get them planted.

But I had such panic just being in my own backyard.

I got so frustrated every time I heard a neighbor speaking somewhere.

Mental illness is no fun.

Trust me.

Without Ativan I would be in the e.r. every day or dead by now.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Jock Mandala

8thkal by William Keckler
8thkal, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

nuff said

10thkal

10thkal by William Keckler
10thkal, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

Malkin!

12thkal

12thkal by William Keckler
12thkal, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

kitty kat mandala

Malkin kitty kat mandala

kitty kat mandala by William Keckler
kitty kat mandala, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

isn't he adorable.

no question mark.

56k

56k by William Keckler
56k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

65k

65k by William Keckler
65k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

66k

66k by William Keckler
66k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

67k

67k by William Keckler
67k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

88k

88k by William Keckler
88k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

80k

80k by William Keckler
80k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

81k

81k by William Keckler
81k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

90k

90k by William Keckler
90k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

101k

101k by William Keckler
101k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

110l

110l by William Keckler
110l, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

140k

140k by William Keckler
140k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

310k

310k by William Keckler
310k, a photo by William Keckler on Flickr.

i made a slew of kaleidoscopic pics today...many of them based on male nudes...i'll post some of the ones i like here.

removed

Well, why was the image  so darn contented?