Saturday, July 30, 2011

My Flickr in Pummelvision--WOW THIS ONE IS FAST!!

I like the speed of this one!

Pummelvision can probably be used to creative ends....the whole stop-go thing just the first idea that comes to mind....

I Like

a lot of my Poladroids. I like them better as a slow slideshow (see below).

It's better if you click down in the right corner to enlarge to full screen. Same deal with all these I posted. You just hit ESCAPE key to leave full screen.

For fun, I decided to redo this as a Pummelvision video.

I did one just for the Poladroids: here.

And I did one for the last 2,000 images I put on Flickr (the upper limit I think).

That larger one's still compiling.

There are two fast speeds (2 images a second and 8 images a second). For this one, I chose the former, but for the larger Pummelvision I chose the latter for fun.

You don't get to choose the music but you can mute it if it bugs ya.

I forget if I chose the randomize function on this one. Think I did.

I did on the other one.

This was created by the cool guy who founded Vimeo, I think.

Jake L-something.

My Poladroid Slideshow (some repetitions through variations, sorry)

Body Mandala Slideshow (Mostly of the Male Body, Human and Feline)

I Wanted to Post My Favorite Poladroids



But for now here is one other set of my Flickr photos/art.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

Joan Rivers

I love Joan Rivers.

But it is fun to make fun of her.

I decided writing celebrity jokes is more fun than Yo Momma jokes so I created a blog for these instead.



Did you hear Joan Rivers went to the traveling King Tut exhibit and saw several close friends there?

They were all in sarcophagi.


What's the difference between Joan Rivers and Sylvia Plath?

Sylvia Plath knew when to shut up.


Why didn't Johnny Carson make Joan Rivers his permanent replacement when he retired?

He thought the blowjobs might stop.



What's the difference between Dracula and Joan Rivers?

Dracula won't show up absolutely anywhere for five hundred dollars.



What's the difference between Anne Frank and Joan Rivers?

Anne Frank was funnier.



What's the difference between Joan Rivers and an ugly tree stump?

You can get some use out of the tree stump by sitting on it.



What's the difference between Joan Rivers and Howard Stern?

One and a half facelifts.



What's the difference between tragedies and Joan Rivers?

People like to talk about tragedies.



What's the difference between Joan Rivers and The Hemlock Society?

The Hemlock Society puts people OUT of their misery.



Why was Joan Rivers banned from Punxsutawney?

One year the groundhog saw HER shadow and committed suicide.




What's the difference between Joan Rivers and a vulture?

A vulture waits until you're dead.




What's Joan River's pre-written epitaph read?

"What the Fuck are You Wearing?"



What's the difference between Joan Rivers and a heart attack?

A heart attack is sometimes silent.

The Closest Thing

I will do to an Amy Winehouse joke (RIP!)

THE CLOSEST THING TO A WINEHOUSE JOKE I WILL DO

It's Momus Day at the Blog!


Let's celebrate a largely uncelebrated genius.



























Think this next one is a cover of a Ryuichi Sakhamato song...





Wednesday, July 27, 2011

I Posted

The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) in its entirety over at the Halloween blog.

If you have never seen or want to rewatch it.

Then I was looking for YouTube parodies and found only a few.

I found this while looking for YouTube parodies.

Thought it was sorta funny.

Beseech And the CheezGods Hear

Thanks much, Cheez Powers, for adding a better fp over my sucky one!

And for the histy just now!!

And it's cheering to see Cheez People truly are good people who cheer you when they hear you are down. Some friendly comments and chinups surprised me!

Worried about Malkin's health. Thought he turned the corner but he's struggling a bit still.

Sleeping all the time can't be normal (maybe he's just studying me).

He's a convenient cat to have for someone who goes through depressive cycles since he can get right into the sleep groove.

I saw something that looked like blood in his poop today and I'm hoping that was NOT what it was.

I'm going to have to hold up a bank to get him to a vet.

I'm sure that's been done before.

If I get caught, maybe I'll get lucky and have a cat lover for a judge.

I keep saying I should go work on my Halloweeniana blog.

Because it's fun and the easiest thing in the world to do--sort of like that cutting out pictures therapy people like me have foisted on them sooner or later.

"Make a cheerful collage suggesting a desired future."

Or is that Yoko One's Grapefruit I'm thiking of (one of my favorite books).

Yoko Ono tweets happy thoughts like this even today.

She really does believe in the power of positive thinking and look at her.

She looks and sounds fabulous.

So there must be something to it.

Cheezburger...Why?

Cheezburger must have it in for me. They've been choosing not-so-stellar front pages. Granted, I'm the one creating the not-so-stellar captions but I'm befuddled they picked the goofy pun one for the front page today. It was rightfully low-voted. Those aren't trolls. Those are honest peeps.

Sigh.

I should delete dumb captions when I make them.

I just produce a lot and trust the Cheezburger Powers-that-Be to do the editing and usually they do great with figuring out what deserves to be on the front pages, etc.

But today my failure waylaid them.

Sorry!

We'll do better, I guess.

Monday, July 25, 2011

ain't she a doll

I don't have a potty mouth. But my little doll sometime does!

i gibz

i gibz yer goldfish bak  when u gibz ma ipod bak.

"Scumbag Gandhi"

Worry about rebirth control.  Not birth control.

is a melding of the Scumbag Steve meme with Gandhi.

Dirty Harry

I don't usually sleep with muggles.

God Warrior

RAWWR! I'M NOT A DINOSAUR!  CUZ THEY NEVER EXISTED!!

God bless Margaret!

I love her!

dat ass

Don't eat Poptarts in bed. The crumbs get in the cracks.

One of My AfterDark Cheezburgers

Words to Live By

What I'm Reading


I'm only about seventy pages into this, but I've already been disabused of much erroneous information put out on this American tragedy both by the media at large, and various artistic "retellings" of the events.

The mass media were really hellbent on putting out the (oddly) comforting image of two "troubled loners" engineering this massacre.

The more troubling truth of the matter is that the young killers were actually completely socialized--normalized in youth culture and with the vast majority of their peers. They had friends. They held down jobs. They dated and went to prom.

This is not to imply that this wasn't a case of a sociopath--or sociopaths. I believe Eric Harris (clearly the alpha male in this leader-disciple relationship) was definitely a born sociopath. This isn't a hard call once you begin reading his journals and looking at his criminal activities and his gifts for deception and dissimulation. People who want to cling to the "bullying" theory or blame Zoloft or the other medication Harris took are missing the larger picture. This individual fantasized about rape, torture and murder fairly constantly. The FBI's profile (5 years after Columbine) highlighted his narcissism and superiority complex. The shirt Harris wore the day of the Columbine Massacre read "NATURAL SELECTION." He approved of the Nazis' "final solution" and entertained genocidal fantasies. Columbine was not an "anomaly" for Harris. It was his apotheois, his dream date. I think the preponderance of evidence paints Klebold more as a disciple with a cultic (and obviously suicidal) fervor of attachment to his twisted hero/mentor.

I just remember how the mass media at the time of the shootings--and for years thereafter--portrayed the killers as weak "outsider" figures who struck back because they were bullied. This seemed to be a "comfortable" way to explain what had occurred, as a sick and exagerrated case of "quid pro quo." They wanted to cast "to type." The evidence seems to indicate these two were more likely to bully than be bullied and were not "Goth" kids (another media misrepresentation). Wannabe Nazis, yes. But that's hardly a part of your usual Goth subculture, then or now. The media wanted the killers to fit a mold--some previous school shooters had indeed had this psychological profile. But the media was being unsubtle as usual in trying to conflate the psychological profile of some previous school shooters who had suffered from various antisocial psychological disorders with these two highly-organized, sociopath-led, death pact-bound shooters.

What's utterly mindblowing is the way one of the killers could plan and talk about his future even as he was preparing his own suicide, seemingly more with a divided sense of reality than in duplicity.

So far the book is fascinating because it's a study of how comfortable the adolescent mind can be with irrealities and conflicting "realities."

This author is clearly after the facts, had been for a decade before writing this book, but this author is smart enough to know that facts don't have as logical a relationship to one another as do say, other atomies, like numbers in mathematics.

It makes me think there should be a philosophical distinction between relationships and realationships.

Randomized and randomizing minds result in randomized and randomizing acts.

Randomized and randomizing acts tend to eventuate in tragedies very quickly.

I Recommend this Movie

Did you see this Robin Williams satire from 2009?

I was feeling happy/sad for Bobcat Goldthwait when I saw him reduced to nothing more than a cameo in this pic (I'm a fan).

But then when this really funny, well-written movie ended, the credits came up and it said "Written and Directed by Bobcat Goldthwait."

So I was very happy.

It's impossible not to think of 1988's Heathers (another favorite) while watching this movie, particularly the one quote from that: "Suicide gave Heather depth, Kurt a soul, and Ram a brain."

Because that's this movie's theme in a nutshell.

But this flick has its own great, original ideas and its own mordant sense of humor and cultural critique.

This one was a pleasant surprise.

Robin Williams keeps up his great recent track record of picking movies that have very much an indie feel, regardless of what their budget is.

This isn't the best movie trailer, but it has to tiptoe around and avoid all the best scenes because of the "spoiler potential."

Saturday, July 23, 2011

Was Irene Craigmile Bolam Really Amelia Earhart?

I just learned of this controversial figure.

So strange how she refused to give fingerprints and had her ashes scattered in an unmarked grave.

Here's a site on this: Weird.

The transparencies (overlays) they showed on the program were just amazingly well-matched-up!

Spooky!

When HE Praises You, You Know You've "Got IT..."

In his eighties and still sussing out the best collaborators.

I love to death the album he did with K.D. Lang.

I love his generosity here towards other singers, including Amy Winehouse.

Glad to See

maturity from most celebrities with the announcement of Amy Winehouse's death.

I'm so sad. Agree with the comments below. What a natural talent.

So rare to have had someone who could bring back the greatest and most authentic elements of sixties music.

Someone who was never lost in music. Just at every other time.

And so sad to lose her to prematurely.

And yes, the tragedy in Norway. Horrible.

You just know the more populous the world gets, the bigger the fuck-ups and the psychosis are going to become.

It's a scary thought.

And it could all be solved overnight.

If every single parent on the planet taught their children that violence or self-violence is never an option.

I'm sure that will happen.

In the year 78, 923.





Winehouse death: reactions so far
Saturday, July 23 2011, 1:31pm EDT
By Daniel Sperling, Entertainment ReporterRecommend21Tweet6Email this storyAmy WinehouseCelebrityMusic
© PA Images / Yui Mok/PA Archive/Press Association Images

Amy Winehouse's death at the age of 27 today has shaken the country, with tributes pouring in from fellow musicians and fans.

The Back To Black star, who has very publicly struggled with drug and alcohol addictions, was found dead at a residence in Camden this afternoon.

Life Stories presenter and former Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan, who was one of the first to comment on the news: "Such desperately sad news re Amy Winehouse. Supreme natural talent, terrible self-destructive addictive personality."

Singer Jessie J: "The way tears are streaming down my face. Such a loss. #ripamy. Man.... Something tells me that we'll b talking abt Amy in 30 yrs time in the same way we tlk about other music legends who's lives ended early."

Radio 1 DJ Fearne Cotton: "Can not believe the news. Amy was a special girl. The saddest news."

Presenter Phillip Schofield: "Just heard the sad news that Amy Winehouse has died. At only 27 what a terrible waste of a great talent. Sincere condolences to her family."

Former Spice Girl Emma Bunton: "Such sad news about Amy Winehouse. My thoughts are with her family."

Singer LeAnn Rimes: "RIP Amy Winehouse. So sad to see such a talent gone and her life end in tragedy. This makes me terribly sad."

Sarah Brown, wife of former Prime Minister Gordon Brown: "Sad sad news of Amy Winehouse - great talent, extraordinary voice, and tragic death, condolences to her family."

Singer Olly Murs: "Oh god!! Terrible news about amy winehouse I've just seen reports over her death!! Such an amazing talent!! Thoughts go out to her family!!"

Rapper Tinchy Stryder: "Sad news man!!,My thoughts go out to her family & Friends R.I.P Amy Winehouse x"

Singer Nicki Minaj: "Please tell me Amy Winehouse didn't die. Is this some sick joke?"

Media personality Kelly Osbourne: "I can't even breath right my now. I'm crying so hard. I just lost one of my best friends. I love you forever Amy & will never forget the real you!"

Celebrity Rehab star Dr Drew: "So sad, another lost to addiction. A reminder this is often a fatal condition. Recovery is possible, but sadly not for Amy Winehouse."

Model Kayla Collins: "Its scary what drugs & alcohol can do to your life... So sad that Amy Winehouse passed away, at 27 years old!"

Footballer Rio Ferdinand: "Just woke up to news that Amy Winehouse has been found dead....such sad news, such a great raw talent, a shame it had to end this way."

Singer Natasha Bedingfield: "I'm so sad to hear about Amy Winehouse just dying. My heart and prayers go out to her family. Such a terrible loss for us all."

Singer Ricky Martin: "I just found out. I feel pain. I feel anger. Rest beautiful girl rest. You are free! RIP Amy."

Actress Marlee Matlin: "Just read...Amy Winehouse died. Shocking that such a young but troubled talent died. Tragic. Thoughts with her family. RIP."

Siva Kaneswaran of The Wanted: "Very sad news. May her soul finally rest in peace. Feel so privilege to had met such a talent just a few days ago. RIP Amy."

Celebrity chef Jamie Oliver: "Such a terrible shame to loose Amy Winehouse. Such a talent, such a waste, raw talent."

Singer Lily Allen: "It's just beyond sad, there's nothing else to say. She was such a lost soul, may she rest in peace."

X Factor contestant Katie Waissel: "I can't believe it. In total shock, heart's broken. All my love & thoughts to Amy's family. You're true beauty talent & soul will shine on forever."

Singer Rihanna: "Dear God have mercy!!! I am sick about this right now! I am genuinely heartbroken about this. Dear Amy."

Singer Pixie Lott: "R.I.P Amy Winehouse. Such a talent you will be missed."

QI host Stephen Fry: "Oh lord. Just heard the news of Amy Winehouse's death. Poor unhappy creature."

Emmerdale actor Lyndon Ogbourne: "Unbelievably sad, sad news - Amy Winehouse was found dead at her flat this afternoon. Argh!!! I want to cry! You were an amazingly talented woman! It breaks my heart...Remembered for your beautiful soul."

X Factor boyband One Direction: "We are all really sadden to hear the recent news about Amy Winehouse. Our thoughts are with her family and friends at this sad time."

Presenter Davina McCall: "Amy Winehouse found dead at her home. So very very sad. A huge talent."

X Factor contestant Lloyd Daniels: "1 tweet today, dedicated to 1 amazing singer, Amy Winehouse I will miss you. Rest in Peace!"

Celebrity Juice funnyman Leigh Francis: "I use to live near Amy Winehouse. Only ever met her once but she was very nice and polite. Called me Mr Francis. Sad news."

Oritse Williams of JLS: "I can't believe what i've just been told! Amy Winehouse you are one of my all time music heroes! You are now in a better place...times like this remind me why its so important to live live to the fullest!! Amy Winehouse you will be a legend in all out hearts!"

Friday, July 22, 2011

I Love Watching Ecopin's Videos on YouTube



He's some guy in Madrid.

He's the guy with the pecs with the heart stickers I posted yesterday.

He makes the best videos.

This is what every gay 42 year old man should be doing.

I am ashamed.

VIVA EL VOYEURISMO!

letters to a young poet

Today, I want you to place your hand
On your writing desk as fast you can
And smash it with a hammer. Again, again.
Please begin with iambic pentameter.
Then let's do trochaic hexameter.
Sustain fractures Shakespearean,
Until your hand looks quite like carrion.
Go quite pain-mad, loudly barkin
As you pound out the Petrarchan.
Scream like a skinhead Neo-Aryan
As you prosodize the first Spenserian.
When your hand doth look like veal
Thou mayst know how thy reader feels
When fettered by your metered verses,
Those bovine spongiform encephalopathic curses.

The Diary of a Mad Cat Trainer (Day 14)

The Masque of the Red Death number is going horribly. This failure to make any progress on this piece is doubtless due in no small part to the ego of Florinda. Ever the prima donna, she simply cannot deal with Lil Diamond Gal having won the coveted role of "The Red Death"--fairly and squarely and through audition, I should add.

Most of the cats are playing the parts of the Masque's revelers to perfection and look spectacular in their colorful masks (Gracias, Reinaldo! And MICHAELS Crafts!)

But Florinda continues with her pretense of forgetting her blocking, her lines, everything!

During last night's rehearsals, when Lil Diamond Gal entered the Scarlet Chamber where Florinda was to have been obliviously reveling, serenely unaware of the approach of Death herself, what was Florinda doing?

She was waiting to ambush Death behind a silken curtain.

As soon as Lil Diamond Gal majestically entered the chamber resplendent in her blood-bedecked cape and nightmare-inducing scarlet-plumed maribou headdress, all the cats began to flee in terror. I was ecstatic. Every moment was cinematic gold.

And then Florinda radically "departed from script" and launched an attack on the leading lady which looked like something out of a Bruce Willis film.

Needless to say, this threw the entire production into disarray and fur flew on the set as Lil Diamond Gal rightly defended the role she had legitimately won against her would-be usurper.

Alas, neither actress has been declawed.

By the time we had the on-set vet clean up the ladies none of the crew had the heart to continue and we decided to break set for the night.

We can only hope tomorrow the plague which ends production will be the actual Red Death itself and not the pox of Florinda's ego.

plagiarized poem

My mother now lives with them,
the groundhogs and gophers.
I would like to celebrate today.
Who needs a costly tweed suit?
The Moon has set, and the Pleiades
are all we have. This old hotel
at the corner of the house.
And where is God in all this?
Pressing and holding. Excited
finest crackle, snow on the hills.
Someone take out her Dickens.
Like missing someone. And
hookers on crack can so
be skaters. Sing in untrained
baritone. The natural law
trumps all weeping indecision.

Largely Plagiarized Nature Poem

"We could try it,"
the friendly clatter of
a tree. The road winds
out the window, the land
carries papers out of the
house. Which makes a small
Mary Shelley sound of regret.
A lover's jpeg.
Goodbye. Hello.
Put that down too.
The watery twist of eel grass,
I wish I knew your name.

TJ Maxx Guillotine

Said to the lovers
"You are unkempt towers who sway perilously close"
Quirk is a death sentence
And watch them go the way shorn of poetry
Which I find very funny
This too-hot corn of monarchy
Museum art glass take a peep
All that is left is a peep
Of 1 million breastfeeding
Now mime a Google Buzz
in the other room for the camera
The Cake had struck Philadelphia!
The crowds were bloodthirsty!
Your place holders are so wild!
Now do a Viscount in red vinyl
through the much cooler night
North of here the puppies are Loyalist mercifully
At Night the Google States
But there are so many Militants of the Squee
The curse of concrete objects and hipsters
A narrator's funny sick overheated gender confuzzies
Prison may turn out to be the kiddie pool
Your Marie Antoinette act has exhausted
My sluggish body's phantom laissez-faire
"I seek refuge from the ascending grandeur
of lactating Court rattle-snakes..."
the slave said,      And Died

article from 1987 on Azilum, Pennsylvania

Pass The Cake Town In Pa. Was Founded To Shelter Marie Antoinette

July 14, 1987

|By Joyce Gemperlein, Inquirer Staff Writer


All's quiet today in Pennsylvania's Endless Mountains at the Marie Antoinette Overlook, the Marie Antoinette Bar and the Marie Antoinette Gift Shop.

Here, with no apologies to the once bejeweled, later guillotined French queen who almost found this a refuge, is a neon sign advertising cold beer, a placard on a barrel warning: "Caution: Baby Rattle Snakes," a car standing rusty on cement blocks and a barkeep selling beef jerky.

Today is Bastille Day, the national independence day for the French that celebrates the kickoff of the French Revolution in 1789 and the beginning of the end for King Louis XVI and his extravagant wife, Marie Antoinette.

There will be champagne-drenched frolicking in the streets in Paris and classy festivities in French restaurants across the United States.

But not here at French Azilum (pronounced a-zeal-um), tucked away and lonely in a horseshoe bend of the Susquehanna River in Bradford County.

"Nah," said a portly beer drinker sitting on a red vinyl stool at the Marie Antoinette Bar when asked if the taproom had planned some celebration to remember the queen. Yesterday was a scorching summer day in the Endless Mountains.

The dew on the lush patchwork farmland rose like steam from a teakettle to settle into a haze at treetop-level. A farmer was out checking his corn in the field and his wife was hanging blue-ruffled pillow slips out on a line to dry.

It is a quirk of Pennsylvania history that a place so wild and faraway was to be an asylum, a little Paris, for the aristocratic Marie Antoinette, who allegedly said "Let them eat cake" when told French peasants had no bread.

Her two children and other loyalists of the monarchy seeking refuge from death or imprisonment were also to have been kept safe here.

An advance party came to America, historians say, after fleeing the Revolution in France only to find that Yellow Fever had struck Philadelphia. Several Philadelphians, including Stephen Girard and Robert Morris, saw a chance to make money and abetted the purchases of the land where Azilum came to be.

A group of patriots, led in part by the Viscount de Noailles, spent a year planning a mansion - "La Grande Maison" - for Marie Antoinette. Noailles was, incidentally, famous for being the best dancer in Paris.

Then came the news that the queen had been beheaded on Oct. 16, 1793. French Azilum fell apart quickly. There is little left of the original 50-or- so houses and few French descendants still live here.

More here: French Azilum today.

Wiki on Azilum

The lay of the Wyalusing land can be seen here in these clips...





I found it funny when the narrator said "Where a person need not worry about a death sentence for preferring one way of life..."

Umm. When the way of life was being a murderous slaveholder, he probably should have had to worry about a death sentence.

Clearly this settlement failed because these people did not how to work and needed a slave class to survive.

No wonder so many of them moved South for the "warmer climate." Even the Wiki article repeats that funny line about the "warmer climate."

Get real!

They went South so they could buy slaves and sit on their big fat asses!

And because luxury was their crack.

I Come from the Old Country

Now with me sick to fill the lamp with.
I'm not much of a husband any more.
An acorn at the window will keep lightning out.
There, I have made myself useful.
More? It is bad for puppies to play with bear cubs.
All the wisdom of the old country I bring you.
Marie Antoinette was to have built a palace
north of here in Pennsylvania. Azilum.
In Bedford County. We all know
how that one ended. As towers sway perilously,
I traipse with a flashlight most nights.
I think my new friend gave me bartonella.
I don't have to explain my disease to you
or anyone. "Vodka is the aunt of wine."
And about love I say only, "A field
held in common is always ravaged by bears."

...

And we die in a language we pretend
is foreign, a language we insist cannot hold
us, not even like the "Eureka" bathtub,
cannot measure the human even by our overflow,
cannot determine the specific gravity of the human gold.
What a load of utter bullshit.
The language is shaped exactly like us.
Every twist and torque, ascending grandeur of finial,
every nasty nook and cranny of its slimy dungeon
(every funny, walk-in, cluttered metaphysical skeleton closet
spilling the highest hopes of the highest dead across our feet
when we're so foolhardy as to take a peep)
is the Prison of We....an edifice completely our conjoined,
freakish sibling, sometimes called our "better half,"
and sometimes "evil twin." Whatever hackneyed premise
of movie plot we need to betray ourselves
far enough away from tragic acts of pretend necessity
we call a fate will serve that day.
And this is fine. I like dress-up. I like pretend.
I like squee. The hermaphroditic metaphor
we somehow marry ourselves appeals to the Queer in me.
And we all need something to blame when we stand
bedraggled and benighted in that funny room
with a very large flag and elevated Judge in Drag.

...

The reverence. The angels and the floods.
The insipid carnage. The vanishing land bridge
and the species who crossed and the species
who didn't and are you still angry
with me? I thought so. The place where they make
art glass and anyone can visit. The place
where they bury your people. The place
holders in language and how they forget
to hold your place which is funny.
Riding next to you on a subway, I pretend
you are a stranger suddenly and I can just
get off at any stop. The reverence.
The angels and the floods. Ain't misbehavin really.
The difficult way to end a sentence
in a foreign language, in a language we pretend
is foreign, in a language that pretends
we are foreign. This is where we get off.
Here. The cemetery is within walking distance.
The fantasy where I am blind and you leave me
on a subway. How I curse the darkness like a person
in an old movie. When in reality I only curse
concrete objects and so fall mercifully short of poetry.

letter to the poem as a young child

Language, you monopolized my time today.
A pitchfork could not be more certain.
Are you one of those who crossed over by a land bridge,
and do you talk ceaselessly of that land bridge
which no longer exists? Merely because it no longer exists.
Language, you are unkempt today. Less lovable.
Are you one of those who wants to add another "e" to lovable,
do you want to take "e," do you want a poem
brought to you "by the letter 'e?'"
I thought so. You write a poem like an angry pitchfork
in a transgender's hand at a gender conference.
"But how can a pitchfork be angry?" you jibe.
It can. Language, you can no longer lactate
but still you pretend. You mime breastfeeding
your baby in public, hoping someone will get
in an ill-advised argument with you.
The desiccated battleground of your tits stands ready
for an Alexa rank somewhere above 1 million.

redneck heat wave poem

It's too hot to drink.
And too hot to wander.
It's too hot to fuck.
And too hot to ponder.
Sky just teases with that thunder.
It's too hot to sleep.
And too hot to write.
Too hot to do anything
but stare and fight,
holler and malevolently stare.
A television, a neighbor,
a stray dog or cashier...
someone you fucked
on a beautiful much cooler night,
some flashback who reaccosts
you today on the stair
or computer air,
some turgid monster
who would goad you to speak,
some energy-leech to molest
your lawn chair sluggish body's
phantom laissez-faire.
A sort of day
to avoid even blowjobbers,
sure to offer nothing
but more hot slobber.
Better the quickness
of a hand from a beer ice-cool
to drain both overheated
kiddie pools.

Your Blowjob is "En Fuego"

Empathy is a misnomer.
Did Lewis and Clark have empathy?
I don't think it's too early to drink.
It all depends on the agenda.
It scares me that I could have ended up
an educator of sunflowers. A force-feeder.
Braiding myself into culture on FACEBOOK
like those figures in the Odyssean Underworld.
They're doing it right now.
Click over and see if you think I'm lying.
The little libation of blood.
I actually have a cup of salsa instead.
Once the salamander--a mythic creature--
lived in fire. Like Rossettim.
Dude, Prometheus just saw your FACEBOOK
and he wants his liver back.

Pennylvanian History

Who appeared as detectives?
What steamship drama?
What rhythm and blues?
Their most famous collaboration?
What nationally popular children's game?
What singer born and murdered?
Who was a regular panelist?
How many Riddlers were there?
What psychological thriller?
Who failed to assassinate?
Armor plate?
Lancaster?
The Sproul Road Act?
The Fama and Svanen?
Six dollars per week?
Which gay barebacking video?
The Bucktail Boys?
"Athens of America?"
Hex Barn Signs?
Valley of the Dolls?
St Francis College, Loreto.

fortune cookies to a young poet

If you were dead there would be
credibility and customs/mind control.
The five tones deafen our ears.
I'm trying to unlock seeds but need help!
Could you lend a hand by approving my crops?
July the twenty-second an emergency.
BECOME BLUE, BECOME GREEN.
Your impression of a morning.
The lusts of the flesh
and the sunflowers feigning innocence.
The Girl Scout Cookie Sale.
Begun in 1933.
The Peter Pan collar.
Its relation to surprise buttsex.
A rear-projection t.v.
comes with many hidden charges.

letters to a young poet

That you are young is tiresome.
That you are a poet even more tiresome.
That I am writing you a letter,
an archaic form which went extinct
in the latter 20th century, most tiring of all.
That you are homosexual and calculating.
That you are a fey tree and a tree
which is a noisy homosexual calculator.
Exhausts me beyond words, beyond speaking
even of the new Dyson fan which is nothing
but a hole without a blade.
A form of Cycladic homosexuality,
a tribute to Dyson's asshole. Often you are allowed
to return to a Duncan Donuts meadow.
You are the meadowlark, the M.F.A.,
the Shelleyan Orphan with a tithe
in its funny little beak.

I do not love you nor your leaves.

Still, I write you this letter

like pantyhose worn in a gay breeding porno.

letters to a young poet

Poetry is just this bunch of blind people
trying to lead the sunflowers somewhere.
You must collect people, so it is a game.
You can collect these people subtly or noisily,
but the Mystery Date element must be retained.
The sunflowers aren't really interested
in following you or any of your people. So it's funny.
Here is Sappho. Here is an alidade level.
Here is a suicide. Here is the comedy
of the upstream shoulder's relationship
to the downstream shoulder. Here is the Trojan Horse,
no the Walmart, no the Trojan Horse
of the poem you just made. You shouldn't
do that. Probably. Probably you shouldn't
do that. Today, I will drink water
in front of certain people and later drink wine
in front of more certain people.
The only truly deceptive thing about my behavior
is that I am still here.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

ummm

lol



how did America's Got Talent miss THIS one?

This year has been REALLY out there.

It would have been worth it just to watch Piers' face during the "performance."

jeffrey harp



think that's the guy who made these.

oh. i found a clearer video.



i'm sure anybody who works like this gets the inevitable comparisons to jerry what's his face.

la voix d'apollinaire



reciting one of his most sing-songy poems...

i think poems like this inspired the young prevert...

inspired by mr tzara

Heh

I Commiserate, Boris

And there's this...

Answer...

Am i gangsta?

The magic 8 ball says of course you're gangsta. Look how you spell it. That is a sure sign of you being gangsta!
Answer found on chacha.com
http://www.chacha.com/question/am-i-gangsta

In the Steinian "Roast Potatoes" Vein...

Best Matching Answer

What is the most frequent question asked?
The most frequent question asked is: What?
Answer found on wiki.answers.com
· Did this help? Thank You!
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_most_frequent_que...

I Just Read the Top 500 Alexa Ranked Sites

I probably use about 100 of them regularly.

I was happy to see my favorite porn site was the one ranked highest lol.

There are some real oddities on that list.

Is The Chive a rip-off of The Onion?

I didn't visit.

What the hell is Posterous?

I don't get it.

Is blogging so hard that some people need to email to blog? Or am I missing the concept?

IKEA beat out the I.R.S. lol.

Of course, Google reigns supreme.

I want to check out some of the sites I've never heard of.

I'd like to do a WORST 20 List of the Top 500 Alexa.

Ask.com would be on that list.

That's nothing more than a troll fest.

Or Yahoo Answers.

Ditto.

Granted, funny.

But for all the wrong reasons.

What is Joran Van der Sloot Wearing?

And who is singing about him?

Scary how you can understand this without even knowing Dutch.

Someone should translate this into Spanish. So his fellow prisoners can sing it to him down there.

Sociopaths can just never tell themselves "No."





In Looking for Traces of Dead Friends

online...I know, a somewhat morbid preoccupation....I found this site featuring paintings by my late friend Charles "Li" Hidley, who died in 2003: Works for perusal and purchase.

I remember (at the age of 15) fondly meeting Li every Sunday morning at the Art Association to work on the New York Times crossword together and talk art and books and gossip and the rest. The Art Association still occupies that charming brownstone (a 19th century residence of Pennsylvania governors) on Front Street with the Italianate facade and the beautifully hooded dormers looking down on one of the prettiest and busiest stretches of the Susquehanna River. Harrisburg's developed "City Island" with its stadium and other amusements is directly opposite, and Harrisburg's picturesque cluster of bridges is right there as well. The "Pride of the Susquehanna," a red-and-white throwback steamboat catering mostly to tourists, also plies this part of the river--when the water level allow.

Looking at these paintings, I came away with a renewed appreciation for Hidley's gift for the figurative and the archetypal.

I remember sitting in on some of the life studies evening classes he gave in Abstract Expressionism, and remember fondly meeting his circle of painters and friends.

I can actually identify a scarily high number of these sitters in these portraits, even when I have never seen the painting before, and even though Hidley obviously was not a realist.

He was able to get the quiddities of character down, the quintessence, of many of his subjects.

And this is no less true when the subject is himself.

Here are a few of my favorites from the selections remaining for sale.

Hidley was extremely prolific and worked extremely fast, so I'm sure there are many thousands of paintings out there.

Oddly enough, I maintained a written correspondence with him for quite some time, even when we were hanging out several times a week.

This was before email. But still. I think we both just had a love of the letter. And then he would send such funny inclusions--clippings of odd news stories, etc, musings--I suppose in a way he was doing a primitive form of blogging before the net existed lol.

I'll have to pull these and reread these some day. They're still at my Mom's house. It's been decades.

I was sad to see that in the one recent show our State Museum compiled of works by Pennsylvania artists in their Permanent Collection, no Hidleys were included.

This particularly surprised me because there was even a subsection dedicated to the history of the Doshi Gallery (founded by the inestimable Maya Schock) and even there no Hidley was to be found. Hidley had a great friendship with Lawrence Von Barann who maintained that gallery (quite capably!) for many years. But then I believe they ommitted the latter's work as well! How thankless a thing is an art gallery! The original Tabula Rasa!

Hidley was a bigtime Jungian. Maybe you would have guessed that looking at these paintings.

He believed in the actuality of archetypes with an almost religious fervor.

Hidley's tastes in literature tended towards works which reinforced this Jungian worldview: The Golden Bough, the novels of Iris Murdoch, Symbolist novelists and poets. And of course he had a great love for the works of classical mythology and the characters who populated them.

I will admit that I had forgotten what a great colorist he could be.

Looking at these works just now rubbed my nose in my own obtuseness.

He has that Matissean gift for the proper arrangement of strong colors made pallid.

There should be a name for a transmutation like that.

Anyway, here are the ones that struck my fancy just now scrolling down at the website.

















Weathering

The thing about bipolar disorder is that it has two poles.

Tautological thing to say.

Currently weathering through the depressive cycle.

So if you are someone whom I am temporarily failing in some way, PLEASE STAND BY.

I'm hoping for better results in the near future.

Right now, I am just grateful that Malkin seems to be okay health-wise.

He also turns out to be somewhat of a prodigy at sleep.

So this just enourages me and I think we have even become a little bit competitive.

Seeing who can sleep longer, I mean.

Lee continues to have health problems and some of them may turn out to be serious (sleep apnea, for example--he has to go to one of those labs overnnight).

I woke up with blood vessels burst in my eye the other day and went to the hospital.

I had this happen when I was 19 so I wasn't overly terrified. I know it tends to be a fluke unrelated to anything else.

They asked the usual questions about straining, sneezing and other forceful actions but I couldn't recall any such thing.

I had carried thirty pounds of kitty litter that same day all around but thirty pounds? That seems more than a little bit of a stretch.

The eye doctor assured me it wasn't an infection of any type; it was just your typical fluke trauma. I could see out of it fine. Only knew because I looked in the mirror. For a fleeting moment, I had a fear that sleeping right next to Malkin maybe wasn't the best idea and feared he had given me some weird diseases. What's that called? Zoonosis? But the other eye never got affected and I never got a temperature or any other symptoms. I look like a zombie though. It's starting to dissipate now. I should have taken a picture of it. You know how Flickr people love the ghoulish stuff.

Malkin is doing better but he isn't the healthiest cat. In fact, I now believe he was probably just dying out there on the street. He was just doing a decent job of hiding it. I can't blame him for living the most sedentary of sedentary existences. It's one that agrees with me as well. When I'm not watching one of my true crime shows (great Aphrodite Jones marathon all this week--love her!) I keep the t.v. tuned to P.C.N. which is showcasing all of PA's state parks in loving detail. Malkin seems to enjoy watching this. Nature is better secondhand. On television. Agreed. Look at what happened to those 3 kids in Yellowstone National Park the other day. He definitely must have hunted birds because when one particular species shrilled loudly I saw the first reaction of wakefullness on his part...he alerted! He was ready to hunt it. I had seen him stupidly going after squirrels before outside and screamed. Malkin probably weighed as much as the squirrel's tail. If that.

Malkin still suffers from "failure to thrive." Or is it just seeing him after living with Dru all these years, any normal weight cat would seem to have a "failure to thrive" sydrome. Dru has thrived himself right off the cat obesity chart. Dru could make Wilford Brimley look skinny just by sitting on "Mr. Diabeetus's" lap. I caught Dru filling out the paperwork for a Hoveround the other day. We'll have to talk. When they say Medicare will pay for that, I think orange tabbies might just be an exception.

I do have the funniest dreams lately.

One was a totally spurious (and funny!!) "biography" of Kafka.

And last night I spent like eight hours putting my Mom to bed after she had just come back from a hospital visit.

She kept putting strange things on her body while I was trying to adjust the blankets to her liking.

I'd hear a noise and there would be a blood pressure machine inflating on her ankle.

I'd hear jingling and she would have put 17 Indian bracelets on one wrist while I was removing the blood pressure machine.

It was bizarre in the extreme. I was laughing even in the dream and so was she.

Everything put a duck.

I remember finding an early 80s Swatch and telling her how surprisingly valuable this cheap piece of garish plastic is now.

Mid-dream she had me run to my childhood bedroom and two of my (grown) brothers were sitting on my bed talking in a conspiratorial manner.

I told them to fuck off out of my room.

I don't like the way this dream seems to be about death even though it's using everything but a rubber chicken to "throw me off."

Death does that sometimes.

Masks its scent with rubber chickens.

Sunday, July 17, 2011

i have movie maker on my computer

but as proof I have absolutely no idea how to use it here is an achronological "movie" of Dru getting a shower with Lee today... it's all over the place...
video

Saturday, July 16, 2011

an older poem that describes today

                

     Ukiyo-e


Prior to long and severe cold
Appearance is the face of danger
Catching up on you
Ghosts pass on horseback
Many more in cars
It is always nice

To die once or twice

Children show weakness today
They won't look at it
There is an earthquake

It's the morality of the dream
A touch there
Awakened him

We fell in love with the same painting
Of tiny demons crying
Well-dressed in costumes

The multiple telling and retelling
From all angles
Until belief itself was impossible

This was earth's story

oh i am getting sunflowers

the groundhogs relented.

relocated?

underwent metempsychosis and are living in human host brains?

en tout cas, a beautiful bloom as large as a pie plate.

and it's THIS side of my stone wall out back so let's see if the sunflower thief (who comes every year) has the balls to actually come up into the yard or mount the wall and snip.

i leave them for the sparrows.

she doesn't.

i transplanted a bunch of the sunflowers from backyard to front yard one desperate morning aftter an attack when I thought the groundies had given up (the first assault).

it was very difficult, the shock to the roots of the things and it was touch and go for more than a few days but now i can say I think these sunflowers (most) are going to make it too.

but their growth is slowed.

oh well. takes a little time.

it's weird to see Malkin's food dish still on the porch.

oh well, those leopard slugs will enjoy it.

they were always creeping after his food.

i noticed i displaced a few bulbs of some perennial or other transplanting the sunflowers and since there were like a dozen i didn't fret over one being left out.

Just now i typoed "cemeteries" for "sunflowers." Freudian slip? About memory of dead friends? I said I was "transplanting the cemeteries." weird. Sunflowers cemetery. There should be more sunflowers in cemetery. It's such a great symbol of immortality. Well as close as you're going to get in this solar system anyway. Although Pluto (or Dis) will outlive Helios. Science says, helping mythology out.

And the next day a slug was eating even that.

the bulb was all white like insect-cleaned bone (befor the slug even got at it).

at first i though it was a piece of broken porcelain.

couldn't be a tulip bulb. it was tiny.

columbine? columbine grows in that general area in several colors.

Lee likes columbine.

I like lavendar. And liatris. I like lots of flowers.

I wonder if the groundhogs will go after my white pumpkins. They are started. I love their day-glow parasol flowers.

Their stretchmark striae.

And early on how they're like little bowling pins forming in the garden.

A children's set.

hello Mr. Other Pole

I can feel the depression creeping up on me.

I made the mistake of forgetting to take my Ativan yesterday and couldn't figure out why I was feeling gutted and zombified.

Then starting getting the musuclar fasciculations that are a dead giveaway that withdrawal is setting in.

So today I doubled up and that helped me (FINALLY) get some much-needed sleep.

But I feel off still, want to hide, insular.

I keep reading about my dead, friends from my past who are gone.

Some are reasons for celebrations--a painter who was a dear friend in my youth has a gallery online maintained by other friends and I was able to reappraise the work and like it more decades after his death. So what if he was a minor painter. He created a number of very beautiful works. The abstract expressionist moment was sort of over when he was popularizing it in our little podunk, but when he transmuted enough of his intriguing personality into the mythological archetypes he so loved, the works scintillated. And still do. But he was loved (and even revered) by many and lived a long life, so the tears for him are mostly happy ones.

But there are others. Who were just drowned by life. The AIDS casualties. My best friend dead at 36 of the same cancer which killer her mother. Dead in poverty.

I just sat in the bathtub and cried for an hour yesterday. There was nothing to do.

Of course I heard Morrissey's song in my head, the one where the philosophical argument for the Afterlife, the Otherworld, comes not from any logical process but from the stark raving need for it to be so--for these people.

When he sings (sings? groans!) "oh there must be" over and over about "a better world."

In a way it's ontological melopoiea, ontological melismus.

I realize I'm dwelling.

I'm a dweller.

The Cave is still there.

If you lost your Cave, congratulations. You're a thoroughly 21st century mind.

But you're not fully human.

You're a sparkling bird.

Not a caveman or cavewoman.

Probably you're thinking Geico.

Memory. So easy a caveman can do it.

I Think Malkin Has "Turned the Corner"

Because his energy has rebounded and he is once again a "ravening pig."

He attacks the food before I can open it or put it down and vocalizes like a nasty restaurant patron again.

Lee has pointed out that Dru has definitely adopted some geriatric mannerisms and has a stereotypical geriatric temperament.

I can see he's lost patience and is more demanding now.

Maybe he joined AARP and feels the power of the voting bloc.

He NEVER sunned before and now suddenly he seeks out the one bathroom that gets decent sun exposure and lolls about in there.

It's as if he moved to Miami (in cat terms).

I open the blinds fully for him.


But I don't think he's satisifed without a drink with a little umbrella in it.

And he keeps trying to get in the room with me andd Malkin.

This would probably eventuate in murder.

Felinicide.

So I am very stressed about this.

I had the idea of writing Malkin's autobiography for him.

And of course totally making it up.

Friday, July 15, 2011

totally stressed out

Malkin is now an indoor cat.

Let the games begin.

Here's the problem. I made him an indoor cat the night he got his booster for his deworming.

And he's gotten really, really sick. I suppose because of that medicine.

He didn't get like this when he got the first dose.

Maybe he got into something bad outside and the timing is a coincidence.

When I was reading about this I found out the previous wormer I was giving him from Walmart was probably poison. The knowledgeable people online said NEVER buy that stuff in the stores---it's pesticide and extremely toxic.

Well this pharmaceutical grade might be too powerful too.

He's basically slept for three days straight now.

The only thing that keeps me from totally panicking is he does manage to get to his food dish in a more normal manner (finally, today for the first time).

He sleeps against me and unlike Dru he weighs next to nothing and doesn't bother me in my sleep.

But today he's feeling better so he wants more attention and comes up and wants to get in my face and stick his paws in my face...and this is not a pleasant thing when I think about him possibly shedding worms--don't know if he really has them--didn't seem evidence but I wouldn't with heartworms and such.

What have I gotten myself into?

I sure hope he didn't have another caregiver out there in the world because they're probably horrified by his disappearance.

I don't think he did or he would be healthier. I'm the one who got him chipped, got him vaccinated and made sure he came inside back when the weather was cold, and fed him every night.

Right now he's not at all complaining about being confined to one room (later I'll have to alternate run of the house with the cats). And later hope a truce of some sort can work itself out.

I was really worried he was going to go south rapidly and possibly even die on me for a day or two there.

But he was still eating and drinking and that's a good sign.

But he was WOBBLY and still gets a little so.

Plus he eats lying down, looking pooped.

But he can use the litter box (really hate having this in the bedroom but gotta make sacrifices sometimes) and he can jump up into bed (it's not a small leap) and down so he must be managing.

They said online if he hadn't been eating or had been not drinking for 24-48 hours it enters emergency territory but he's never stopped and today his appetite really picked up pace so maybe he's turning the corner as that nasty shit we gave him does its antihelminthic work and clears his body.

Sorry for poisoning you, Malkin.

It said online a cat can die if they lose as little as three pounds.

I don't think he'll mind being an indoor cat. He really seemed to hate the outdoors anyway. Even when it wasn't inclement weather when I'd open the door he'd often choose to just stay inside.

And now that he feels secure in the bedroom and realize he has all needs met and no stress, I get the feeling he likes it. Of course he's purring.

I am grateful he's not puking or having diarrhea as that would freak me out and probably send me the short distance it is for me over the edge.

It really bothers me the way he never gained weight when he was living outdoors though, because I was deliberately overfeeding him.

This makes me if this "failure to thrive" was worms (curable) or something else like feline leukemia or feline AIDS (not curable but not at all necessarily an early death sentence).

And to think this all started because my neighbor had us sign a petition for our democratic congressman neighbor.

It was his little brother who marched right in our open front door.

It was only later that he led Malkin to my front door.

Malkin who wouldn't even abide human contact at first. He was like "Just leave the food, thanks."

I feel like I'm raising a third world baby a bit.

And I'm not Xena Warrior Princess or Angelina Jolie.

Q.E.D.

I can outstare you.  Your argument is invalid.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

lego my ergo

By nature, I am a skeptic. By disposition, querulous. Ergo, I doubt you know jackshit.

Happy Bastille Day

I think. I didnt check the date but pretty sure this is

To you French or otherwise-affiliated.\

Isnt' this like their Independence Day?

xo

right before the breakup i think

so true. how online romances work. when the (infrequently) do.

dear Plastic

HEALHTHY FLACHBORG

TO EINAR ORN...WHEN SUGARCUBES WERE 90% A NEO-DADA BAND...LOVED IT...

EAT THE MENU ONE OF MY FAVORITES...

There is Talk of Going to Las Vegas

I would only be too ahppy with a trip to IKEA White Marsha and maybe a stop off tha nearby crabbing park with the superhshallow beach and the moto shower accomeodations dating to tht 1950s..has Todd solondz not filed here? Seiously? then Araki?

Missing out.

The lay of the land it pretty there. We like to jump searocks out and seem to have our pics taken in the middle of the atlantic. esp. on dark days.

we stop at the closer wegman
s instad of waiting for ours on the drive home.jus beg lots of ice

we all love white marsh idea. nice plaza ovrall.stores we miss up here in pa.

we usually hit the red lobster there too.

Monday, July 11, 2011

OMG CHEEZBURGER!!!!

((((CHEEZBURGER)))))

ANOTHER FP LIKE 12 HOURS LATER!

I wake up and see THIS!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

XO XO XO

LOLOLOL ((((((((Cheezburger!))))))))

I'm laughing so hard right now.

I am very grateful that one of my Cheezburger LOLz made the front page...and I was laughing like hell because someone put a (clearly sarcastic and funny) "Snake Warning" over the picture...

To let those with oh-so-delicate, china doll sensitivities know that there is an actual snake underneath that "warning/censorship" label.

And to see it, you have to actually CLICK on it.

I can't help but think someone with a very good sense of humor at ICHC saw my exchange with that martinet and site policewoman and put that on there as a gentle joke.

Here's where I admit I have a double standard for animal cruelty. I can't bear to see photos in which I think cats are being injured and want to hunt down the offender and do the same things to him.

But when it comes to a cat killing a snake as in this pic--I could care less.

I still don't think it's right for a human to maliciously kill a snake that's not harming or threatening the human--hate any animal cruelty really.

But when it comes down to snake versus cat, I'm definitely on the side of the mammal.

Snakes are NOT pets. People who take snakes into their homes say they have pets. They do not have pets. A pet can relate to you in some warm way and will only eat you AS A LAST RESORT lol!! Like if you keel over and there's no nomz...your cat or dog might eat you. But wouldn't you want them to live rather than die at that point.

Okay, sorry for the grisly scenario, but you get my point.

I feel the same way about sharks. Kill them all and let Neptune sort them out.

The pic they used today has a riff on the "I gave my bitch ____. Bitches love ____," which many find offensive. I try to only use parodies of it or if I do use it, it's almost always the woman using it about a man or a man using it about another man.

I'm sorry, in those contexts it's just vernacular.

When a man stupidly calls a woman a bitch because he wants to degrade her, that is of course different.

But when a bro is being a dick and talking like that, half the humor is how clueless the dickhead is for thinking that way. When I laugh at those captions I'm laughing at that person, not with them.

But I don't do them.

The parodies though are fun. There was a Renaissance painting of a woman with a cello and I captioned it: "I gave those pitches vibrato. Pitches love vibrato."

Sort of corny but you get the idea.

And my ex-Brit cheez pal did one with London Bridge I think: "I gave those Bridges towers. Bridges love towers." Cuter. A little less recherche than mine hence better.

Thrift Store Serendipity

I've been avoiding thrift stores the past few months. I'm in a strong agoraphobic phase and the local thrift stores (one of the few things in the past able to lure me out of this funk) had been really awful with having nothing good on the past few trips I made out.

Today, I'm glad I made the effort (double Ativan actually made the effort).

I found a really nifty piece of abstract art in marquetry (stylized lion and eagle) in mint condition. Under two bucks.

Found some books for Lee to sell should he care to and then some for me to read.

To sell: Gorgeous J.M. Barrie hardback with sumptuous plate art. One of those ubiquitous pretty editions of Little Women. Countless presses reissue this public domain work every year. Most make an effort to make it pretty. I've seen prettier by far but this is still sellable and in mint condition. Richard Scarry book in untouched condition (not a first edition but older and nice and a title harder to find).

Found two matching Ikea candlesticks (unused) with original stickers on them. I own much prettier IKEA ones but only one SELLER had them and was asking ten times what I just paid for them.

Found this cute little wooden globe with the continents roughly rendered on it and little carved people of the world inside it. Mint condition. One seller has it and is selling it for ten dollars but his is all damaged and scratched up and he doesn't even realize but he doesn't have all the people. I think I do. Have more than he does anyway. It's a very nice item for kids.

Bought some records (yes actual vinyl) because they had some good classical selections. A Van Cliburn Tchaikovsky and a vintage album of Birgitt Nilsson doing opera.

Books I bought to read: a bio of Woolf I hadn't seen before. A novel by Dennis Lehane. A novel by Kurt Vonnegut. I've read more than I haven't by Vonnegut (love him!) but somehow missed this one. A weird (allegedly more comprehensive) Mother Goose (Lee and I saw her grave in Boston on one of those walking tours). I've been studying that creep Roald Dahl for hints on how to write an outre children's book. Read many of his and loved them (they deserve all these film adaptations!). Think I missed The Witches. Saw the movie but never read the book. He can really be quite horrible in some of his books, like the one about poisoning his Granny. I think he might have been a sociopath. There are signs in his life all over the place. Not just in his adulthood. Very abusive spouse then. But even in his childhood. But I have to hand him credit for his elaborately planned Viking funeral. That was a fine endgame joke!

I also found a book on the Columbine shootings, simply titled Columbine. I'll read that shortly.

And then I bought (God knows why!) Charle's Grodin's autobiography. It was only a dollar.

I can't think of a single thing I liked Charles Grodin in, not even that movie where he's the escaped convict causing such trouble for Robert DeNiro's bounty hunter. Although I remember liking it the first time I saw it (with my father, who loved it) when I saw it later, I disliked it. I always found him singularly unfunny and really annoying when he'd go on shows like Letterman repeatedly. I sort of couldn't look away because I couldn't figure out what people saw in him. I'm probably forgetting something he did good. You can tell he's intelligent. But his real life What about Bob act just doesn't work for me. Did he audition for that part? If so, thank God Billy Murray got it. Murray added just the right amount of goofiness to the role...something Grodin would have surely not been able to do. Has Grodin been in Woody Allen pics--something tells me he must have been in one or two of the drier ones. Because that's exactly the sort of dry New York wit Woody likes to use to balance out the more interesting characters in his serious dramas.

I saw a copy of Looking for Mr. Goodbar and picked it up and read through it quickly to see if it was awful as a book as I figured it must have been, when thinking back to the movie. I think I read it when I was eleven or twelve.

It was worse.

It's like a teleplay for a baaad Lifetime television movie, with the only difference being no Lifetime television movie would allow that ridiculous downer of an ending.

The only reason that book became famous back in the day is because it had a promiscuous female character as its central character and that was considered risque then. She lived alone, got drunk and had sex. And she wasn't a man. Wow.

But I can't see any critic on earth taking it seriously as a novel.

It's a bad teleplay and nothing more.

Total pulp.

That's where it really owes a debt--to the gnarly, half-porno, sensationalist dimestore pulp novels with women in peril, bondage or both.

It's like a pseudo-feminist reprise of that genre for the seventies.

p.m.s.i.a.

Looking at Your Ex on YouTube in the Middle of the Night

is not something I would normally do.

I'm more likely to be making LOLcats or playing Boggle on Pogo. Or reading about this or that nineteenth century hero or heroine in the tub.

Cue Pet Shop Boys song right?

But I was looking up lots of people I haven't seen in years.

While he's a total right wing Republican (180 degrees away from who he was when I knew him) he's still a sexy bitch.

One of his heroes (that didn't really fit with his left wing ideas then) was Genghis Khan.

Well, he looks more like Genghis Khan now.

But I see his taste in music (Thank God!) hasn't changed.

We still like the same kinds of music and I see the bands we loved when we were together among his favorites and bands I've learned to love since are also (not too surprisingly) in his list of favorites. A lot of gay bands.

He's married and a good Dad now so I of course won't put his name anywhere near this post.

What would be the point anyway.

Better that he misses this.

He was nice enough to add himself as a follower of my reviews on Goodreads some time back and he has stopped in at the old blog on more than one occasion, so I'm glad to know he doesn't feel bloodlust or anything for me.

Possibly, he now thinks I'm going to Hell, but I'm already telling God what type of cookies I love best so there are no uncomfortable silences when I get to heaven.

And I'm working on figuring out who all are atheists (most people today) so I can ask them if I can have their cookies in Heaven.

Somehow I think cookies will taste much better in Heaven.

But if I get there and there are no cats we are going to have a little problem.

"If there is no God for thee, then there is no God for me."--19th century poet Anna Branch making a stand about the "No Dogs Allowed" policy in Heaven.

Always loved those lines.

I'm happy, because of the people from my past I've looked up, none of them seems to be dead. No obituaries came up anyway, and I find recenty activity for most of them.

And some of them are in their late 80s.

So Whew!

Pacobooks Online






Poet and flamenco artist Frank Miller used to send me wonderful handmade books of his on a weekly basis.

Then I moved (under crazy circumstances that required speed) and somehow I fell out of touch.

I believe his daughter Tara was the one who posted these online so other people can finally enjoy at least a tease of these limited-run books, which always contained great visual art and often great poetry as well! I thought at first the books were being posted in their entirety, but these are just covers. I'm hopping some archive is collecting these, because Paco only published these in very limited editions shared with friends, as far as I know. And there is much to collect and release in book form here.

One of my favorites is a larger size "coloring book" he did called The Coloring Book of Death.

He had created a coloring book from medieval and Renaissance images of Death. Really scary, horrifying frightening depictions of Death personified as the Grim Reaper.

It was a funny conceptualist joke. I don't see that one featured here.

I would be tempted not to give that a book to an actual kid, but the funny thing is if you did they would probably happily color it without nightmares. Maybe part of the conceptualist joke there was that for (the vast majority of kids of the coloring age anyway) Death doesn't even exist. It's outside of their Crayola ken. Mercifully!

Gone was a particularly moving series of poems. Perfect poems. These were written immediately upon the death of his beloved mother. He had joked about including a small bag of her ashes with each book he sent to friends but decided the gesture would perhaps freak out one of two of his correspondents.

I miss Pacbooks.

Here's a sample of some of the covers of these books...which were done in the good-old fashioned mail art way, copied on big old dinosaur copiers in the 90s in downtown Harrisburg.

Harrisburg Poet Marty Esworthy with His UltraViolettes


Heh heh.

Love seeing/hearing poet Marty Esworthy anywhere.

Looks like this is from 2010.

I'm sure I missed some great readings/singing.

So few poets bring backup singers to their readings.

Marty's the exception.

Two poems by Marty Esworthy in an online journal, one of them actually moving with a very strange camera through Wordsworth's alleged menage with his sister--a rather comical but sympathetic and even moving take. But the poem refuses to have a single about; it's multifocal, Everywhere and Interesting, how Esworthy's poems usually flow and go: Marty Esworthy poems.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

You Can't Please All the People All the Time

I went to my Cheezburger dashboard and received a message through a third party concerning a friend request I had sent to someone who I was fairly certain used to be my friend on the site.

I did this because she had favorited a lot of my lolz (as recently as the past few days) and I had done the same with many of hers.

I received a message from a third party (if you're not friends you cannot post to someone's wall, same deal as FACEBOOK) letting me know that she was offended by a number of my lolz and hence my deletion and the failure to accept the proffered "floofy paw of frendship" to use site vernacular.

I felt violated that she felt the need to use this other person as a cat's paw to sully me my posting a message of moral censure on my wall and in my feed, where the friends on my list/network can read it. It would be great if Cheezburger had an "APPROVE THIS MESSAGE" option before messages hit your wall.

This does underscore the need for filtering on the site. I mean her problem with some of my LOLz. Because this person said she would re-add me if she could see my tamer lolz but not the ones she (and I stress "she") finds offensive. Probably this would prove an arduous, if not Herculean, task that would require I spend half my day gingerly asking this person about her likes, dislikes, sensitivities, possibly allergies? favorite t.v. shows? You get the idea. Better to stay with the unfriending. If I want a life.

Fair enough. Doesn't sound like hate. Just moral judgment. And everyone's entitled to their own.

I just think she lacked discretion and probably got enjoyment out of having someone post that on my page. I let it stand (I could have deleted her 3rd party post) just because I figure people who have a broader sense of humor might realize that this person is not the one to approach if you even sometimes write in "that way." Whatever that way is. Maybe it will save these people the hurt feelings of getting chastised or deleted. In the exchange below, she mentions her hurt feelings at being deleted by a friend (she doesn't know who) and wonders. Well, it's quite possible one of HER LOLZ offended THEM, believe it or not. Probably she doesn't think that is a possibility. People who do this sort of censoring and censuring never do. They're lily-white in their mental mirror reflection. What they don't realize is that even the way they equate people with the ideas that come out of their mouths and hold witch trials in their mind might offend some of their freer-thinking friends who value all other human beings even when they disagree with some of the things they say or do. This is transcendental love. When I see this in people I'm always impressed. Conditional love is the cheaper version. Don't buy the generic. Go for the real thing.

The Afterdark section is where I ultimately send ones I think gentler souls might find offensive, but my decision is usually based on profanity or nudity in a picture and not ideas which might be a tad challenging. I mean challenging in the moral sense, obviously, not the intellectual sense...it's frickin cat humor/cat jokes!

I was only inviting her as a friend because I wanted to return the favor of being able to see her work more regularly and voting it up. And I am actually one of those people who ONLY ever give an LOL 5 votes. Okay, I made one exception the other day for one single LOL that I thought made fun of mental illness. I make fun of my own mental illness all the time. But the tone in this one was just mean and it wasn't funny at all anyway. So that was my one "one cheezburger vote." But of the thousands of other LOLz that I favorited or simply voted on, every one of them got 5 Cheezburgers. Because what the hell does it cost me to give them 5 instead of 1? I won't favorite LOLs that don't make me laugh but I'll sometimes throw in a 5 Cheezburger vote just to help someone when I see the trolls are voting their LOL down to 2 cheezburgers or less. Just to try to help that anonymoous person have a better day. I have never trolled on the site. I made a series of parodies of trolls last night using a monkey who had the perfect expression for it. I spoke in a "troll voice." That's the problem with irony. Some people not so bright will read those and think I am talking in my voice. Irony is not exactly hard to get, but there are still a lot of people who are so literal minded (even in their sense of humor) that they are humor-impaired.

This same person who attacked me just attacked a fellow Christian in her friends list who is very strict about only posting "safe" material and who limits his friends to people like that. He tried to defend himself but she kept ripping at him in judgment.

She also slurs Ben Huh as well tonight--said she had to delete him for fear of "upchucking" at what he thinks is funny--after seeing his feed.

She made it clear that she writes to the administrators and attempts to have things removed from the site (so does her interlocutor in the exchange I posted below...read on...)

So if she does this, wants to annihilate things created which do not reflect her sensibility, how real was her offer to resume friendship could filtering be put in place? Would she not "check up on me" to see if I still had another "side" to my personality she would like to excise?

I don't normally go in and read people's exchanges (and I notice she deletes a lot of her postings right away--probably to hide the trail of her censorious peregrinations through other people's creativity) but I was curious to see if she was badmouthing me further in public.

This is how I discovered that full-time judgment is largely what she does on the site. A moral arbiter elegantiarum.

I will remove her name (it's just a nom de Cheez but still) to respect her privacy here and that of her "accomplice" but I found it funny that here she even maligns the C.E.O. and founder of the site and her friend in this conversation expresses his disgust with the C.E.O.'s taste in LOL humor.

I had wondered who deleted me the moment I thanked the C.E.O. for favoriting two of my LOLs one night. Right away BANG! someone dropped off my friends' list. Within minutes. Now I know who that person was. Can't be a coincidence as I hadn't lost a friend in a week or longer before that. I was "guilty by association."

The "nursing home" caption I'm sure (just now realized) was spoken by SCUMBAG STEVE. Note the speaker is known for being a total asshole (he's a meme from MEMEBASE). A lot of people don't "get" Memebase and usually this is an "age thing." Yes, this is one I created for After Dark. I get mad at myself when I forget to click that little box that prevents the general release of that LOL to ALL your friends. But it does happen. You get busy with trying to make the text fit the caption, selecting a font, color, etc. And you just forget. Not every LOL I make is funny. Duh. Sometimes you fail in the effort. But when SCUMBAG STEVE speaks, he should be a TOTAL SCUMBAG. That's the point. He's the human waste of space (even that phrase is not p.c. but you get what I mean).

I generally try to do my racier lolz at 3 in the morning when the site is much less populated but Cheezpeeps are all over the world and have all different schedules so even there it's not a sure thing.

The Anti-American LOLZ (so called by this one individual; they were so NOT Anti-American) were LOLz I did to counter the jingoistic patriotism on the 4th of July. I love America. I feel very fortunate to have been born here. Not everyone else is so lucky. And those who happened to be born here before Plymouth Rock or born in tribes after Plymouth Rock turned out to have been "not so lucky" too. And I did a few LOLz with kittehs speaking from the point of view of Native Americans. I'm also guessing this person disliked my LOL of cats tearing down the American flag which I captioned "NO VACCINATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION." You think that joke would be harmless enough, right? Not if you have a superpatriot on here ready to out-Americanize you...which of course is by its nature an Un-American thing to do.

The "Ben" for whom they share a distaste is clearly the C.E.O./Founder Ben Huh.

Hence the comment about "That actually might explain a lot."

The implication is clear: degenerate founder, degenerate site.

No dear, what might "explain" it is the wonderful variety in human beings. They vary in sensibility. They vary in sense of humor. They vary in age. And the ones who are younger (surprise of surprises!) actually change and modify the culture with their new take on ideas. These will be the ones ultimately deciding if gay marriage is accepted (the young seem to have little problem with it) and how we will handle the Medicare crisis--all of these important things. And their humor often reflects this change in values and mores. They are thinking through the changes--even when they're making goofy jokes. Sure, some of their humor is immature. But immature people laugh at immature things. I'm happy they have those laughs. They're not out doing some self-destructive or destructive thing. They're making their friends laugh on the net. But what disturbs you is that it's not all a reflection of your mind and its values, troubles, worries, guilts.

I can live in a world that's not a reflection of my own mind.

It's more difficult than doing the other thing. Hiding from reality.

Skin needs to thicken a bit.

When I had a relative in a nursing home I visited all the time. And actually I'd sooner cut off a hand than let one of my relatives go to such a place. They vary vastly in quality and I'm happy to see the new move towards assisted living and in-home care is allowing perhaps a majority of people now to stay in their own homes until the end. I think that's great and the way we should all try to go.

I hated that one grandmother died in a nursing home. But I was a kid and had no say. But I felt there was a dereliction of duty that this was allowed to happen. Other family members were well-taken care of in the homes of children at life's end.

Their complaints at the end are about an issue with the Collectibles, which I could care less about but I'm happy people enjoy them.

Whenever anyone asks for any of my collectibles, I'm happy to oblige them.

I just don't get into that activity at all.



HERE'S THEIR EXCHANGE FROM EARLIER TODAY...


HER FRIEND WRITES....

on Jul 10, 2011 at 3:10 PM

I agree, that's why it took me several days to do it myself.


SHE WRITES...on Jul 10, 2011 at 1:28 PM

Yeah, I don't like having to do the unfriending thing. It hurts my feelings when somebody unfriends me and I don't know why (like somebody did yesterday), and I should have explained to William before I did it. There are some kinds of lols I simply cannot stand - the one of his that really made me upset was the one about the nursing home. Since my dad is in a nursing home now (he's not what I consider old - just 76) because he has dementia, it really upsets me when people make fun of such places and the people who are forced to live in them. And there were others I found disturbing or offensive. I can overlook one or two, but not such a whole string of them.


HER FRIEND SAYS on Jul 10, 2011 at 1:17 PM

Hey ____, Had a minute so I thought I'd stop in and say "hi." I just ed'd the message that you asked to have forwarded. I thought I was the only one that did that. Same person and same reason, starting with two very anti-American ones. I thought about it for several days and finally decided I just really didn't like the content. I'm finding that more and more lately.


SHE WRITES on Jul 7, 2011 at 12:56 PM

I'm all caught up now, thanks to you. :o) I've got lots of extras of the older collectibles, though, and don't mind sharing those with anyone who needs them.


on Jul 7, 2011 at 12:51 PM

Any time. Do you need anything else?


SHE WRITES on Jul 7, 2011 at 12:50 PM

Aw, thank you so much! :o)

HE WRITES on Jul 7, 2011 at 12:34 PM

No strings attached.


SHE WRITES on Jul 1, 2011 at 2:45 PM

Yeah, they were pretty awful, at least how I define awful. He's friend-requested me since, but until TPTB find a way for us to filter what comes across the DB without having to unfriend people who also make and fave family-friendly lols, I'm not having him back.


HE WRITES on Jul 1, 2011 at 1:37 PM

Really? That bad, eh? That actually might explain a lot.


SHE WRITES on Jul 1, 2011 at 12:58 PM

Ben was on my friends list until he started faving some really horrible After Dark stuff. Sadly, I had to drop him for fear of upchucking all over my computer if I had to see some of what he faves.
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HE WRITES on Jul 1, 2011 at 11:47 AM

I've been trying to drum up support. In fact that rather extensive posting by DigitalDonna was from one of my cheezpeeps. But I also know of at least one that was not posted. A number of people have Ben Huh on their friends list. We ought to get them to message him.

SHE WRITES on Jul 1, 2011 at 11:38 AM

Well, I did pay for a few back before Christmas, but there just wasn't any other way to find that elusive Invisible stuff or the Karot, Dress, or Turkey. Maybe if we all deluge the official site blog with comments and TPTB with emails protesting this, they might see that this new twist is really not a good idea.


HE WRITES on Jul 1, 2011 at 11:31 AM

I'm afraid that they are going to turn the collectibles into a chore. I have enjoyed stockpiling extras to fill out the collections for people that haven't been able to, but if they go through with this "one week" rule I think it is going to devolve into an every man for himself situation. And I WILL NOT pay for them. Period. End of discussion.


SHE WRITES on Jul 1, 2011 at 11:22 AM

Ohai! Thanks for accepting! :-) Yes, I have yet to see *anybody* say anything positive about the current Collectible situation, other than it's great to see all the friendly trading going on. I had a great time yesterday with that.

HE WRITES on Jul 1, 2011 at 11:08 AM

Hello new frend. Thanks for the FR. I see we're on the same page with the collektys.