11 Statements about Yoko Ono

1. Yoko Ono is not really concerned with art's refrigerator but enjoys more playing with the magnets on art's refrigerator like a cat and so is a truer divinity.

2. Yoko Ono is barefoot on carpet that is barefoot on earth that is barefoot on nothing.

3. Despite my many failings in this life, I have never once been angry at Yoko Ono or blamed her once for breaking up The Cocteau Twins or Hanson.

4. Yoko Ono is every bit as funny as Andy Kauffman and didn't exploit her funniness to sleep with young college girls (at least that I know of).

5. Yoko Ono would say "Go Fuck Yourself with Reminding People I Went to Sarah Lawrence" but she is too nice so I'll say it for her.

6. Yoko Ono's Twitter: out @yokoono

3,272Tweets
738,585Following
1,770,165Followers
33,057Listed

(I would point out that the Dalai Lama follows no one.)

And whose posts are more spiritual and loving? (Clearly, Yoko's.)

7. Yoko Ono probably thinks about John Cage the same way she thinks about a young woman who once sold her one of the most comfortable pairs of shoes in her life. Probably she drops this woman's name more than John Cage's.

8. Yoko Ono became a refugee of war in Japan during WWII and her mother used her sewing machine to allow the entire family to subsist. The wealth that came before that is not what wrote Grapefruit. Her mother's sewing machine wrote that book.

9. I bet even celebrities get a little lift in their sneakers whenever they bump into Yoko Ono. I bet Laurie Anderson sticks her tongue through the tip of her teeth and sings "Yoko Ono" inside her head and her sneakers lift her from five one to five two or whatever when she runs into Yoko. Probably she thinks, "The Yoko Moment!"

10. If you don't you must be crazy.

11. John Lennon is still in love with her and you're just jealous.



Of course, no one knows the real Cocteau Twins lyrics, but here is one amusing guess...personally I think you're trippin but I like this anyway...

Soon as he was agreed
The real business

All this I ever spent
A meaner rhythm

Fantasy greenery
All in all an enemy
(Or early morning millionaire
As everyone seems to put down)

Enemy, synergy
Intermixed with legacies

Better days
Better quakes

Oomingmak, Oomingmak
Drifting on forever on a side wall

Fantasy greenery
All in all an enemy

Nervousness, anarchist
Clearly spoke, clearly wrote

Feet like fins

A time to live again
A little tense

Beyond belief
I grew up setting blocks