Craig Conley's "Mermaid Table"

Metaphysicist and Alembicist and Logodaedalus (oh, and author!) Craig Conley sent me some photos of a sea-salvaged table he recently acquired--complete with "mermaid damage."

I asked if I could share these and he kindly allowed.

Craig is in the process of becoming a Floridian and writes, "So we're still in transition -- we have a place to live now, but the moving truck won't arrive until later this week. So we're tinkering around with plumbing and wiring just to feel like we're doing something while actually still in limbo. We realized that our Scandinavian dining room table is wrong for the Minorcan-style house, so we found a shipwreck-salvaged table and chairs at a shell shop on the beach. I wanted to share some detail shots of the mermaid damage. (Please note that while I abhor mermaids' merciless mauling of shipwrecked furniture, I fiercely defend their semi-human right to do so.)

I'm so glad he penned that last statement.

Real Men Don't Show Mermaid Chauvinism.

Since the "Real Men Don't Buy Girls" campaign is doing such virtuous work across the planet, maybe we should start the "Real Sailors Don't Buy Mermaid Favors" campaign.

Here are the luverly photos of the room.

I asked Craig what shade of red that was and I think he said "Moroccan." He must have misread my question because he defensively explain that their former menage was painted only in shades of whites, dove-greys, etc. And I think he said only stuff produced by Shakers in each room. (I'm joking, Craig lol!!)

I liked the damn red. It would just make me want to keep kef in a bowl on the table though.

I think the table is lovely but it's the chair at top that really has me enthralled. I could write poems about that chair.

It has this strange evocation of Ariel imprisoned in the tree! Because the chair has an anthropomorphic quality as though it's seated impatiently, waiting to get up and walk away. Love it.

Oh, I should add that Craig's partner Mike is doing half or more of all of this stuff. Hello Mike! I don't want to make it sound like Craig's lugging this stuff around and being inspired all on his own.

Maybe Craig is just directing. We all know about those who "direct" when it comes to design and finishing up furniture. Those beloved "directors." I guess we'd have to do a hand check to see who should get the real points on this beautiful project.

Anyway, enjoy the pics...