"Don't Worry Bill, Satan Will Make Your Day 'Interesting'"

I just now called my Mom and was playing her the Etta James song covered by Cyndi Lauper.

After it was done playing, we began speaking admiringly of the song and something very weird happened.

My heart is beating very fast right now and I'm laughing, but I'm also more than a little terrified.

My mom said my voice had suddenly altered and she couldn't bear to listen to it. This has never happened before. She thought it was something to do with the phone I was using malfunctioning.

And I said, "What does it sound like?" And she said she "couldn't explain."

And then suddenly I was saying something and while my Mom was talking, her FUCKING VOICE WAS LAID OVER ITSELF BUT IT DISTORTED AND SOUNDED LIKE A FUCKING DEMON VOICE LIKE IN THE MOVIES.

Well, I want to say it was "her voice," but I know it wasn't. It was like hearing a sick demon parody of her voice.

She can't speak two sentences at once and have them both be perfectly clear. That's impossible. Not even those throat singers can do that.

I instantly got a chilled-to-the-bone feeling.

It did not sound like a phone malfunction. It sounded like that fucking voice from The Exorcist.

I'm so weirded out I already forget what it said, but it was something sarcastic.

It wasn't a sentence she had previously spoken or a sentence she subsequently spoke or her present sentence giving feedback.

I think the voice said something scabrous about "Can I get my voice in here edge-wise." Something fucking creepy like that. I'm not hallucinating. I don't have auditory hallucinations nor visual ones (once I had one a few years ago--visual--but I knew it wasn't real even as it was happening).

It was a completely different sentence spoken very clearly except in that movie "demon voice."

I kept asking my mom if she was playing a trick or if one of my brothers was on the phone but she said she could see the only brother in the house and he was definitely not on the phone.

This was fucking weird.

We agreed we'd best hang up for now and talk later tonight.

I wanted to get off the phone right away.

I had been admitting to my mom I got out of the house and admitting guilt I had not stopped in to see her, but I said I knew she had been sleeping at the time and I was weirded out just being out of the house.

So did my guilt somehow create a "demon voice?" Was this a sick ventriloquism of my conscience?

I wonder if she was hearing me in that demon voice too?

Satan, get the fuck out of my house and telephone.

I'm not THAT fuckin bored.

Just now I picked up the phone and listened with the hairs on my neck standing up. I said "Who's there?"

I'm happy to report no demon voice answered.

Won't I have fun making that repair services call.

"Dear phone service provider, I have a demon in my dial tone..."

Really, this is how the experience made me feel.

ALSO, MY NEW VISITOR COUNT FOR YESTERDAY JUST CHIMED IN WITH "666 VISITORS." I KID YOU NOT. GO OVER TO THE LEFT OF THE SCREEN AND CLICK ON IT IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME LOL. IS TODAY SOME SORT OF DARK DAY ON THE SATANIC CALENDAR? LOL.