Homoready?

Lestat is in TARGET. He reads greeting cards and smiles at how greeting cards haven't lost their idiocy for centuries.

Louis is in TARGET. He's taking his blood pressure at the sit-down machine located next to the pharmacy.

Lestat thinks "Fabulous!" in an ironic manner.

Louis thinks "Crab Nebula."

Lestat and Louis are not in the same TARGET.

Lestat thinks how funny the word honeymoon is. Then he thinks about Patrick Wolf and the idea of turning him into a vampire.

This idea is delicious and wrong. Like a blue waffle.

Louis thinks about Anne Rice. First sarcastically. Then benevolently.

Then he coughs some blood on the back of his left hand.

Louis notices a girl like a tiny Camille Paglia staring at him, so he licks the blood away.

The child turns and runs into one of the makeup aisles and grazes a transvestite's knees.

Lestat opens a talking card that has a chorus of people using funny voices to scream "HAPPY HALLOWEEN!"

Then there is a spooky MWUHAHA laugh.

Louis wonders how long he would need to remain in a TARGET store before people would consider him "clearly insane."

He guesses about seven hours.