Friday, February 10, 2012

The Police Were at My Front Door

Apparently, the police were at my front door. They banged on the door and asked if I was still alive. Lee then banged on the door behind which I was sleeping and asked if I was alive. I confirmed I was alive and this fact was confirmed to the police. The police didn't actually see me to confirm I was alive, so I guess we have gullible police. Malkin and I resented the loss of sleep and what I am guessing was a beautiful shared dream. I called my Mom to ask her "WTF?" since apparently she was the one who told the police she suspected I was dead. We had talked about ten hours before that and I seem to remember a very jovial conversation (might I say even jocular?!?) and now this. I asked her what could possibly have given her the idea the police would have been needed but she said something Lee had said lately had struck her as "very shifty." When I eventually got her to narrow down and pinpoint what shifty thing Lee had said, it turned out to be some of Lee's braggadoccio which culminated in the statement that he is "smarter than the average bear." Somehow this meant he was going to kill me. My mom then urged me to go to the hospital and have my blood drawn and checked for poisons. After all this time, the poor dear doesn't understand the mechanics of depression and the depressive cycle's sleep. Probably because that's just never been a strong component of her own mental illness. The police must have a funny little annotation next to my name by now. Because she's done this about four times in three years. And that's not counting the times when this house used to be haunted and I called them myself for various ghostly occurrences. So if there were a Loony Bus tour in this small town, I can assure you the bus would stop in front of my house at least twice a day and I would probably never get any sleep with the tour guide's bound-to-be-insulting narration of varied vignettes.
Posted by at 10:55 AM

4 comments:

  1. Geez-a-loo! Hope Lee also has a better sense of humor than the average bear.

    I couldn't have made it through that post without quoting Mark Twain ("The report of my death was an exaggeration").

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  2. lol. I think my Mom was sad I was using sleeping pills and so talking to her less just because I was asleep. You know how Moms worry. But I'm not sure the police see it the same way. How she gets them to the front door every time is beyond me. I guess covering their ass in case someone did turn up dead. When I called her back later to make sure she was alright, she denied that she was implying Lee had poisoned me. That I had "misunderstood." Maybe I did. But I doubt it. When I said "I'm going to sleep now...I'll call you later tonight" she said "AGAIN?" in frustration. lol. the truth comes out. (when I need attention I call the gendarmerie).

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  3. "AGAIN?" sounds just like my Mom. A lot.

    Once she squawked "AGAIN?" after I'd dropped and broken a glass. Last broken glass was four years earlier. Hmph!

    Same squawk whenever I visited home with the spouse, on account of how often and how long he napped--he's a big napper, but this was way more than usual. Perhaps it was his way of dealing with the stress of his squawking mother-in-law.

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