Assuage an animal crying, I think.
And then, "which one?"
I watch vampires playing Laser Tag instead
but killing themselves for real.
Most of the vampires look like Nosferatu--
meaning "really scary."
Many of them clearly took dance.
Something has gone wrong.
My essence precedes my existence.
Even when I'm in Wendy's.
Even if my mind is currently a vanilla Frosty.
My mother may or may not be dying,
depending on which little sparrow
you listen to.
I have an ex-husband vampire killer.
I am a vampire.
"Buff it out..."
My cat refuses to judge
movies like this.
Yesterday, I walked a very great distance
in really awful heat to a store I really hate
and someone there..
called me "Chief."
It's come to that.
Nevertheless, some progress
is being made.
I feel less and less
like Judge Judy
on heroin most days.
I repeat vampire Romanian
I hear on the t.v. to my cat
and he is vaguely amused.
The vampire foetuses in this movie
are just adorable,
encased in orange plastic
like something you find
in Target's cleaning products aisle.
Just going to Target now
is crossing a Great Ocean,
the Great Ocean
of Compassion and Design
which I'm pretty sure
is the only one.
Even for the winning team of vampires.
"I'd rather be a pet than cattle,"
a traitorous vampire says,
just before being exploded
by a payback bomb
Wesley uses on him.
Kris Kristoferson dies
but does he ever really?
I am failing this vampire movie.
I just totally blew this.
And I bet it's like 70% of my grade?
So the rest is just doom and homework.
I promise not to blow up the building
even if my face has this expression.